black women

Nojma Muhammad: 4 Types Of Women That Men Need to Avoid Like the Plague

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Nojma Muhammad discusses the secrets of the deflective sisterhood.


Secrets of the Deflective Sisterhood

by Nojma Muhammad

As we know, the Sisters of Deflection roll deep! In order to become a deflector, here are some roles one must master:

  1. The Coy Manipulator: Coy is is defined as (especially with reference to a woman) making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring. In other words, using coy tricks to attract attention. As women, we will do things to deliberately get the attention of men but feign ignorance when we get your attention. We are very aware of how the sway of our hips entices you. We know what style of dress gets your attention.But wait! There’s more. We know how to manipulate you intellectually and emotionally as well. We will tell you exactly what you want to hear. We either whisper seductive or soothing words in your ear. Sometimes it’s a combination of both. We know exactly what to do and say to invoke the necessary reaction we want from you. By the time you realize that something is amiss — that who we presented ourselves to be, isn’t who we really are — you’ve already been caught in our snares, and more than likely, a child has been born.Most of us were taught how to manipulate men from our mothers and without their knowledge. The men in our families are our test runs. So by the time we are grown or young adult women, we have mastered the art of manipulation. The Coy Manipulator is EXTREMELY slick, Brothers. She may come in the form of a conscious, moral or disciplined woman, and all the while could be an undercover vixen or feminist.
  2. The Antagonist: As antagonists, we become your number one enemy. We bait you into arguments. We belittle and disrespect you and dare you to return the favor. We don’t mind poking the hornet’s nest. We question your manhood and promptly disregard it. We will be very quick to threaten your relationship with your children and your freedom. Please believe that these are NOT veiled threats; we are more than happy to execute everything we say. A Bitter Antagonist is one of the worst adversaries because there’s no expiration date on bitterness. The energizer bunny has NOTHING on a bitter woman. She just keeps going and going…and going. Her goal is to wear you out so you will fold and succumb to her bitter demands.
  3. The Warden: When we become your warden, we also become your overseer. Our wombs double as a jail cell for both you and the child or children we conceived together. Child Support becomes your sentence. We control your freedom and remind you of that any time we deem it necessary. We control the contact/visitation you have with our child. There’s no chance of parole when a Bitter Baby Mama is your warden.
  4. The Unaccountable Victim: This is the most important role of a Deflector. No matter how many men we invite in our wombs, we can’t be held accountable. No matter if a Brother has three Baby’s Mammas, and we volunteer to be Baby Mama number four, it’s not our fault. Just because we chose a man that we know won’t be good for us; whatever happens in the relationship rests solely on his shoulders. Even when we knowingly use our wombs for entrapment, it’s the man’s fault for falling for it. Even when we set out to seduce you, you take the entire blame for partaking in the seduction. Regardless of our actions, motives and thoughts we are always the victim that are void of accountability. We are the poor “woe is me,” strong, independent, Black Woman that got snatched up by the Big Bad Wolf…aka…the Black Man. Po lil’ tink tinks.

Sounds about right Deflectors? Y’all let me know if I missed anything.



    July 1, 2014 at 7:24 pm


  2. M. Alan

    July 3, 2014 at 9:08 am

    I have definitely met some deflector’s However as a black male it’s incumbent upon me to understand who I am and not to become a receptor !

  3. T Robinson

    July 3, 2014 at 9:57 am

    True words, right on point!

  4. Antonio

    July 3, 2014 at 4:32 pm

    Author Decarlo Turner has written a book about the subject named “The forgotten Man”. It’s a good read with some interviews from men whom were in this type of relationships.

  5. April

    July 3, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Wow. It saddens me to hear you talk about black women like that. Women just woke up one day this evil? Some are like this but I feel for those sisters just as much as those men for her being put in those situations where she is trying to survive. You fault her for beingthe fourth baby mama but skip right over the man with four kids. We need to stop putting these stereotypes on other black women. Then wonder why they think the grass is greener with white women and they won’t have to deal with these types of women. Spread love and education. Not hate and disunity.
    -Just one random black woman

  6. ericaf

    July 4, 2014 at 8:11 am

    Two people came to mind, daughter in law#1 and baby mama#2. You hit the nail on the head.

  7. inquizative

    September 26, 2014 at 2:00 pm

    I think April fits the role of “accountable victim.”. Always has a ready excuse for herself and other women. Can’t accept any blame for anything without first blaming the black man for something. Like “I wouldn’t be this way, if you weren’t this way.” So consequently its all your fault, not mind.

  8. J. D. Hill

    September 26, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    Black men must always remember that CHILD SUPPORT can always be in the receptacle where he deposits his seed. “The pleasures of sin are only for a season!”

  9. jaime love

    September 26, 2014 at 11:17 pm

    “Unaccountable victim” doesn’t have shit to do with it! The POINT SHOULD BE that BROKEN MEN and BROKEN WOMEN exist…PERIOD! I’m sick and tired of mofo’s trying to get “kudos” “popularity” and “capitalize” off of the BLAME GAME!



    September 27, 2014 at 9:22 am

    Women certainly will entice, entrap, & ensnare a man with her lucious hips, & thighs to her curvacious frame & voluptious breast. A woman can be a beautiful thing to behold. A BEAUTIFUL THING!!! Especially a black woman. And there inlies their snare. All of these types of women have the capabilities to entice entrap & ensnare.
    In the Book of Proverbs Solomon speaks to the presence of a strange woman as opposed to a virtuious woman. A strange woman is any woman a man comes across who uses these tactics to seduce him, her victim.
    A man will look beyond all of these traits and fall for her seduction. She is any woman a man has not married. A virtious woman on the other hand who is also fully aware of her voluptuousness and seductibility but does use it for her gain. She dresses appropiately. Is faithful to one man-her husband. Displays none of the characteristics mentioned in this article. A wise man seeks her out. As oppossed to just looking for a piece of ass!!! If a man could hold out for this virtuous woman his life would be so much more pleasant. Gentleman there virtious women out there. They are not found in strip clubs, bars, or street corners. Find a God fearing woman and you have found yourself a virtious woman. Go there. Sign up for the daily Proverb to your email be enlightened and be blessed.

  11. HardTruthSoldier

    September 28, 2014 at 11:28 am

    I see these immature bitter women on here attacking Sis Nojma can’t handle the truth.

  12. Ageless

    September 28, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    So true! Avoid them or become a Ray Rice!
    But I must say, it is not only black women that do this.
    This is done by women of all colors and countries.

  13. Leslie

    September 29, 2014 at 1:26 am

    I know a woman right now who’s the object of many men’s desire. She doesn’t dress slutty, she doesn’t talk nasty, she’s not vain at all. She was rejected by her mother because she is beautiful and ignored by her father. All this woman wants to do is find God, take care of her daughter,work, buy a home, drive a decent car, pay her bills on time, finish her college education. Nobody likes this girl, especially women. Lesbians harrass her. Men try to beat, rape, and take her money or encourage her to be a hoe because she’s so pretty. Her sin? Being born beautiful. There’s alot of beautiful female flowers,that are abused by men and women. I won’t shame her, I can only love her

  14. Leslie

    September 29, 2014 at 1:40 am

    Also my wisdom and experience has shown me how to embrace lost women and lead them. I use art to show them something to do with their time and hands. I’ve sat with prostitutes and learned their stories and showed them love. I didn’t stone them when society and other women did because I had a speck in my own eye.. I used to be the woman who pointed out the errors of other women. That was because my own immoral history was covered up by traditional garb and my self righteousness as if I was Gods only chosen vessel. I humbled myself. I no longer felt the need to blame other women to make myself look superior, wise, or holy. Now I can truly call myself Queen

  15. Leslie

    September 29, 2014 at 1:46 am

    The only woman on this earth that is fit to talk about the morality of another woman is a virgin who never knew a man or waited until she was married to have sex and has only had 1 partner her entire life. Those women are as rare as unicorns

  16. Leslie

    September 29, 2014 at 2:02 am

    My dear sista, if you wish to convert these women. You must not tell people to avoid them or liken them to a plague.
    Women love being loved and needed.Women see God in how you live, not by what you say. You will lead more women God by showing them his love, not just his wrath. Forgive, your sister, seven times seventy, and verbally
    Injure no one, not even the fallen unbeliever

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