black women

How your relationship with your father determines the kind of man you choose

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Screen Shot 2014-08-08 at 8.26.48 PMSome people like Dr. Umar Johnson and some don’t.  But this video may take the cake in realizing why people love him and have come to respect his expertise as a psychologist.  In this video, Dr. Johnson talks about the struggles of black women, the depression and the decisions which drive a woman’s actions in relationships.

For one thing, Dr. Johnson says that many black women lack sisterhood and the ability to trust other women.  He says that because of the trauma that sisters experience, there are quite a few who either don’t trust the men they are with, or find themselves emotionally needy.  He says that because many people are not reflective enough about their own mental state, they often miss many of the cues to help them understand why they keep choosing the same kind of partner over and over in their lives.

Dr. Johnson’s words are powerful in this video and may help you realize what’s happening in your own relationships.   He’s also the only prominent black speaker who touches on these issues in such a profound way.  As a trained psychologist, he’s able to dig to the root of issues without being overly patronizing or chastising and seems to provide a kind of truth that is well-respected among those who observe his speeches.

Watch the video and tell us what you think.

[leadplayer_vid id=”53E57B6467847″]


  1. Renee

    August 9, 2014 at 7:31 am

    Best video I have ever seen related to the plight of our people (especially black female’s! ) Sometimes the video person let the camera get out of control. However, I would like to see the full version of the video and other videos he has presented. This was excellent information! Thank you Dr. Johnson!

  2. Haieljah

    August 9, 2014 at 9:57 am

    Another great topic that should be discussed more. Dr. Johnson is helping women and men with this topic it is well worth listening to and his wisdom is respectable and credible…#Follow.

  3. jaime love

    August 9, 2014 at 1:57 pm

    I have this DVD at home. Great Piece!

  4. kimberly

    August 9, 2014 at 4:23 pm

    My father was a abuser…a wife beater who hated children..a drug addict…a dope dealer and society was terrified of him..I looked @ the way he treated people and wowed I would never select to be in a relationship like this…I was worth the opposite and valued myself much more…almost 50 years later I can honestly say I have never ever been in a abusive relationship.

  5. KG

    August 9, 2014 at 7:12 pm

    OMG- this is right on time! Such good information that is suited for black folks. I love his point about what slavery has done to black men and women- “has turned men into women and women into men” SOO true! We need to give the responsibility of being a husband and father back to our men!!

  6. LeahO

    August 9, 2014 at 7:14 pm

    Lot of great info

  7. Ma'at

    August 10, 2014 at 2:55 pm

    What is the name of this video? I tried looking for it.

  8. Peoples

    August 10, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Ma’at, here’s the YouTube link

  9. Paulette

    August 11, 2014 at 10:23 am

    Dr. Umar Johnson, Umm, Umm, Umm! Man, you speak volumes of truth and this is the kind of dialogue we need to hear and be opened to if we want/need to heal from all the Angst (s) that has plagued us far too long. Sisters, we have to be diligent in our strife and struggles to be able to face and look at ourselves in the mirror. So being envious and jealous of each other, baby, we come from wombs that GOD nourished us to be abled bodies, strong thinkers and positive women. I am also a victim of a Fatherless upbringing, but Mama birthed five brothers (All Glory Be To GOD) 3 my sr. and 2 my jr., However, they made sure their Five sisters were protected from the unnecessary evils that would overcome their sisters one day! Did we all listened and took heed. NO! Because they weren’t our Father! Oh! There was Love, attention and teachings from our brothers but not the kind of love and attention as we needed from our Father. Our brothers weren’t our Fathers, they were brother’s only. They did the best they knew how to without a father in their lives. But their basic instincts being Alpha-Male made them step up to the plate. I do appreciate my biological brothers and all other men who were great brothers outside of mine. Anyways, Sister we need to step up our game and be better and love one another whether, one looks better, have a better home, car, money,children, education, hair, or any other physical attributes or tangible material items/objects, or better man in some cases. Get our mental minds intact and in order so we can raise the next generation to think better. And Mothers stop spoiling these Black Men and Fathers be a Man and take charge, so your Son’s can follow your positivity so we as Black Women can have someone we can admire, respect, and be proud to look up to our…. BLACK MEN”

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