Hair

4 Things Other Curly Girls Never Need To Know

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have you ever been in a situation where someone over-shared something with you? awkward isn’t it? once it’s all said and done, you’re standing there with them, paused in thought because you are still working your way over the shock of it all. it’s easy to over-share when it comes to life and love, many of us have done it ourselves, but what about hair? it may not seem like it, but there are some things that you should probably never tell another curly girl. sometimes things are better left unsaid. not sure what you should hold back on? don’t worry, to help you out, we compiled our list of four things other curly girls never need to know about you.

You didn’t pay your car note last month to afford your product junkie habit.

one of the first rules of american etiquette is never talk about money in strange company. that may be old fashioned for some but for many others it’s gotten them far. bragging about your stuff is always awful but telling people that you are going broke over jars of purple gummie bear puddings and essential oils for your homemade mix addition is not cute. it’s really not that serious. we feel sorry for you and want to call susie orman and dave ramsey to help you. no, really, we do.

You use extra strength vajayjay creams jock itch products on your scalp to grow your hair.

girl, stop. we don’t need these kinds of gag-inducing images popping up in our heads randomly while we are in the shower or over dinner with friends. i mean really, who can seriously enjoy their rice pudding after the story of your vaginal cream pops into their head? once you tell someone this, trust and believe that they’ll NEVER forget it – EVER. besides, they’ll always wonder if your dandruff is really a yeast infection on your scalp that you somehow “transferred there” or worse, they may actually resort to calling you names reminiscent of 3rd grade teasing like “penis head.” see, how messed up that is? just keep this foolishness to yourself, please.

You have not washed your hair in three weeks.

this one is tricky because there are plenty of curly girls who’ll successfully go a month without washing their hair. however, after two weeks many people will start to side eye you especially if you are active and workout or keep a busy schedule. we all know about the itchies your scalp gets when it’s dirty and if we catch you bragging about going three weeks and then scratching your scalp moments later only to see you flick something out of your fingernails, you won’t ever have to worry about us ever asking you for hair advice, or offering you a potato chip straight from the bag again.

That the real reason they smell bacon in the middle of the day, smack in the middle of the office is because it’s coming from you.

not everyone thinks that putting horse products on their scalps is a bad thing and that’s obvious because you are one of them. but to try to explain to another curly girl that the oily substance running down your face in the 90 degree georgia weather and causing you to smell like a waffle house special is because you put real horse hair cream on your scalp is scary. trust us, it does not come out the way you think it sounds. you say, “it’s for hair growth” and we hear, “i’m hella crazy and will do anything for 1 inch of hair!” for this one you get the michelle obama side eye. we don’t believe that mr. ed can talk nor do we believe that horse products will grow your hair faster than normal. you need more people…and a bath.

What’s the craziest thing someone ever told you about their hair?

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27 Comments

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