“I LOVE YOU DAD”: THE HARDEST PHRASE A BLACK MAN CAN EVER UTTER TO HIS FATHER.
By Susan Johnes
There are several reasons why black men cannot easily say “I love you dad” compared to black women. The common claim for this act is that the old father might think their son has achieved victory somewhere. Besides, they might assume the possibility of their child being “high” and drunk.
Frequently, men have developed this myth and misconceptions believing that they will be discredited instead of receiving appreciation when they utter the phrase to their father.
Nonetheless, the traditional African culture rules out the use of that phrase. Occasionally, the mindset of such seniors views the term as a western romantic notion. In this case, they claim its application to two lovers of opposite sex.
The typical African dad prefers material appreciation as opposed to the verbal recognition. The father believes that a different language exists to show love; that is material rewards. Since actions speak louder than words, they expect their son to appreciate them with material gifts which interestingly have to be royal and classy to qualify you for a loving gesture. For instance, whiskey and a pair of western suits can make the old man jubilant.
In other cases, the old man might prefer spending quality time with his son roasting meat, discussing politics, and enjoying the cool breeze. They view such event as an additional way of showing appreciation.
Additionally, our father had expectations towards us when we were young. They had set limits for the level of expected achievements. The old man dreamt and desired a better life for his son. However, you have since become an adult yet his life is far much better than yours. In short, you have significantly failed to accomplish the objectives. Instead of following the old man’s advice, you ended up following his example thus the fear of pronouncing the phrase.
Life is unpredictable. Therefore you have to take the step now and appreciate your dad before he is long gone. Tolerate his entire attitude, ignorance, and public discredit. Parenting comes with a lot of conditions and challenges. Our fathers command respect due to the applied parental efforts in nurturing us and socializing us into adulthood.
One day you will regret why you never honored your dad when he was alive. The only way to contain the situation is by utilizing the current opportunity, thus utter the phrase, “I LOVE YOU DAD,” the words come out as automatic as breathing.