The Problem With This Single Mother Dressing In Drag To Attend ‘Dads and Doughnuts Day’
By, Jen Nicole
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Whitney Kittrell, a single mother in Utah wanted to make her son feel comfortable at “Dads and Doughnuts Day,” a school event last Wednesday, so she dressed in drag to come as her son’s father for the day.
Kittrell, became a single mother three years ago(not sure if her fathers son left her or he passed away) but ever since then, she has done everything she can to make sure her son is taken care of and comfortable.
So, when she heard about the event, she asked her son if he wanted his grandfather to go with him to the event.
“He just smiled and said ‘No. I want you to go. You’re my mom and dad,’” she wrote in a Facebook post.
So, Kittrell dressed up, complete with a fake beard, to go the event. At first, she was embarrassed, but when she saw her son’s smile, it was all worth it.
“I’ve tried my best to let them know they are loved, but I wonder a lot if I’m actually succeeding at it,” she wrote. “When I went to leave, he ran after me and hugged me tight around my neck and whispered, ‘mom, I know that you’ll always be there and do anything for me.’”
Sounds nice on the surface and I know this moms intentions were good, but my problem with this story is when her son said “You’re my mom and dad.” Now granted he is in Kindergarten, but these kids are so grown nowadays, even at his age. But the fact is his mother is not his father, she is his mother.
The fact that she dressed up as a man to “play” his dad is perpetuating a myth that she can be his dad, that she in fact is both his mom and dad and she is not. No woman can take the place of a man in the household. Ever.
Given that he does have his grandfather in his life I would have expressed to him that as his mother all I can be is his mother, and even though his father is not in his life, this is why his grandfather is so important and why his role as a male figure in his life is vital. I would have told him I am not a man and so therefore I cannot go with you but this is what your grandfather is in your life for to be the man in your life and attend these type of events with you and that only a man can take the place of another man.
This little boy could possibly grow up thinking that a woman can be the mother and father and end up leaving his future child’s mother because of it, not realizing it stems from his mother playing that role literally and figuratively. I honestly believe honesty is the best policy when talking to your children about really anything. You have to understand the psychology of a child, and I just don’t think that it is healthy for this little boy to believe this and then have his mother feed into the lie even more by dressing up as a man.
What are your thoughts on the matter?