black women

What To Do When a Man Breaks Your Heart

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angela-bassett-burns-car2By Tamala Perkins

It is highly unlikely that any woman can get through her whole life and never have her heart broken by a man, unless she is just not interested in men romantically.

Most women have some story about some infatuation or crush in their teen years who somehow ended up breaking their heart and reducing them to a sobbing mess.

As women get older, the pain of betrayal, infidelity or abandonment is much more serious than in the teen years. Sometimes it is hard to not respond to heartbreak like how people do in the movies, like when Angela Bassett’s character in the movie Waiting To Exhale took all her husband’s clothes and belongings and stuffed them in his car and set it on fire. Then there is a popular song by American Idol alumna Carry Underwood where she describes digging her keys into her ex’s car and scratching it up to teach him a lesson for cheating on her.

Of course the healthier approach to dealing with heartbreak is not to lash out and instead focus on healing from the heartbreak.

Below are five things to do after your heart has been broken:

1. Forgive him – When you forgive a person that you believe has done you wrong, you release yourself from all the bitterness and negativity that goes with holding a grudge.

2. Forgive yourself – There is a good chance you made the wrong decision by allowing that person into your life. Forgive yourself for that.

3. Take responsibility for your part – Be honest with yourself. No matter how you slice a pancake, it always has two sides. Even if you think your ex was wrong, you must have also made some mistakes along the way.

4. Get clear about what happened – You don’t have to spend a long time dwelling on what happened but it is a good idea to get clear about what happened and what went wrong. When you have some clarity about what went wrong you are less likely to make the same mistake in the future.

5. Move on – It may not be easy but you have to move on. Stop thinking about the past and don’t carry it with you by expecting the same in the future. Take time to heal and restore yourself and don’t lose hope. There are great men out there!