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Nomalanga: Camille Cosby should not be shamed for standing by her husband

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???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????By Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

In recent weeks and months while the media has covered stories about her husband Bill Cosby drugging and then r@ping women, Camille Cosby has remained completely silent. While most of the allegations are decades old, the women consistently accused TV-Dad, Cosby of drugging and r@ping them.

On Monday, Camille Cosby finally broke her silence and came to her husband’s defense by issuing a statement. The statement appears to have been prompted by the University of Virginia r@pe story which turned out to be false.

In the statement, Cosby shares that she met her husband in 1963 and married him the following year. She says,

“The man I met, and fell in love with, and whom I continue to love, is the man you all knew through his work. He is a kind man, a generous man, a funny man, and a wonderful husband, father and friend. He is the man you thought you knew.”

She then goes on to point out that the man being painted and portrayed by the media is not  her husband but instead a man she does not know. Cosby goes on to also point out that the media has not been vetting the women who are making allegations against her husband. She says the women’s stories are just published or aired on television without being looked at further.

She mentions the University of Virginia case,

“We all followed the story of the article in the Rolling Stone concerning allegations of rape at the University of Virginia. The story was heart-breaking, but ultimately appears to be proved to be untrue. Many in the media were quick to link that story to stories about my husband – until that story unwound.”

She ended her letter (statement) by making it clear that “None of us will ever want to be in the position of attacking a victim” but still says the question must be asked “who is the victim”?

When the allegations first started accumulating and being aired on television and other media outlets, my reaction to the story was basically that none of us can ever really know what happened and so, we are left to just speculate as allegations are made.

The one thing that I pointed out was that Camille Cosby cannot and must not be blamed or shamed for standing by her husband’s side. I felt compelled to say this because I saw a few posts circulating on social media where some women were attacking Mrs. Cosby because they felt that her silence and not leaving her husband were “enabling” him.

My response, which I still stand by, is that Camille Cosby, as Bill Cosby’s wife, is his partner “through thick and thin, till death do [them] apart”; not “till allegations are made!”

The women who are making allegations, if any of them are truthful, have the right to share their experience and Camille has as much, or even more of a right, considering that she has known and loved her husband for over 50 years, to also share her experience and give her perspective. We can not on one hand accuse people of “shaming” victims and object to “victim shaming” and “sIut shaming” and then on another hand shame a wife for not behaving the way some people think she should. You can hear Nomalanga discussing this topic in the video below.

Nomalanga is a Life Balance Expert. Her speaking and coaching programs help busy women who struggle to balance Marriage, Motherhood and Money-Making™.  Nomalanga is an experienced instructor, author and avid blogger.

To find out how you can book Nomalanga to present at  your next conference or event, click here.