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3 Ways to Disagree In a Relationship Without Being Disagreeable

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By Anna Bella

Sometimes things can get a little tense in a relationship, especially when the honeymoon phase ends and you both have work, sleepless nights (for whatever reason), and life itself to balance. If you are spending a lot of time together, you will inevitably learn more and more about each other and after a while, some of the habits that appeared cute a month ago, can now get on your nerves. Here are 3 ways that you can fight fair in a relationship and say what you want to say without getting nasty:

1. Be Honest but Kind – Nobody likes to hear hurtful or negative things about themselves. It causes defensive, stand offish, and very cold behavior. It’s okay to speak openly and honestly with your partner, but deliver the words kindly. I know that if a sensitive subject comes up between my partner and I, it’s best handled with positive praise first. By using a positive before a negative, you are able to balance out the situation calmly.

Say things like, “I really admire how you handled the situation with John and Marie today.”  It gives you a lead in to then use an “I” statement. You could say, “I would love it if the calm way you spoke to them happened more, instead of the shouting. It really helps us work together.”

You are taking away the accusation and stating why a certain behavior would be a good thing. At least if your partner can see that you are calm, kind and genuine, they will be able to take what you say candidly.

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