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Tyra Banks Predicts Eradication of Racial Prejudice, Weave and Thick Hips

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The threαts posed by global warming are immense, but Tyra Banks may’ve gone for the purely tyra-bankssuperficial in her editorial in the Wall Street Journal. In the column, Banks focused on how the idea of beauty will evolve in the future, but her prediction of how global warming will impact beauty is sure to cause a few curious looks.

Banks says women won’t be able to maintain their voluptuous shapes after global warming damages crops.

“Global warming will threaten our crops so natural food will be scarce. Hourglass, curvy bodies will be the aspirational beauty standard, representing that those women have access to bounties of fulfilling yet healthy food, which means they are affluent,” Banks explains.

By the time it gets that bad, and it certainly could, having an hourglass shape is probably the last thing women will have to worry about.

No need to worry too much about whatever your future beauty situation is though, since Banks says plastic surgery will become as accessible as the snacks you buy from your local grocer.

“Plastic surgery will be as easy and quick as going to the drugstore for Tylenol,” she predicts.

You won’t, however, adhere to the beauty standards that exist today, says to the former model.

“Emphasis will be on how unique and interesting one can look, as opposed to a cookie-cutter look. People will be vying for that cutting-edge, distinct look in the way that today celebs reach for baby names that defy convention,” explains Banks.

Women who want long hair will no longer need weave, since science is gonna fix that, says Banks. “If one wants longer locks, a hair-growing serum is applied to the scalp, and the length and thickness of the hair will increase in 24 hours. The popular hair texture of choice will be curly.”

And since people will be able to switch up their look at will, racial prejudices based on physical features will be nearly eradicated and replaced with “socioeconomically based” prejudices.