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Stephen A. Smith Tells Women Not to Provoke Men Into Beαting Them

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Stephen A. Smith is a commentator for ESPN, but that’s never stopped him from chiming in onstephen a. smith every subject imaginable. In his latest foray, Smith dutifully explained to women how to avoid provoking their men into beαting them.

Discussing NFL player Ray Rice’s minimal suspension for domestic abυse, Smith cautioned women against doing anything that would result in a beαt down.

Here’s Smith in his own words:

“We keep talking about the guys. We know you have no business putting your hands on a woman…But what I’ve tried to employ the female members of my family…and this what, I’ve done this all my life,‘Let’s make sure we don’t do anything to provoke wrong actions.’ Because if I come, or somebody else comes, whether it’s law enforcement officials, your brother or the fellas that you know, if we come after somebody has put their hands on you, it doesn’t negate the fact that they already put their hands on you. So let’s try to make sure that we can do our part in making sure that that doesn’t happen.”

Soooo, what Smith is saying is that women shouldn’t provoke men into putting their hands on them, as if what an abυser does is under the control of the abυsed? Smith’s explanation certainly makes it seem as if the woman bears some responsibility when she’s abυsed.

Smith then attempted to explain himself further:

But at the same time, we also have to make sure that we learn as much as we can about elements of provocation. Not that there’s real provocation, but the elements of provocation, you got to make sure that you address them, because we’ve got to do is do what we can to try to prevent the situation from happening in any way. And I don’t think that’s broached enough, is all I’m saying.

What do you think of Smith’s comments? Did he finally go to far?

 

360 Comments

  1. Mattie Ballard

    July 25, 2014 at 4:38 pm

    Women should not provoke men by putting their hands on men. I know of women who gets upset with men and attack them physically and verbally.

  2. Aldon Lloyd

    July 25, 2014 at 5:27 pm

    No man has any justification to hit a woman and if she was his size or bigger the coward would not touch her.

    • James

      July 25, 2014 at 8:06 pm

      Oh, yeah? I recall driving, with a female passenger alongside me–same height and weight-5′ 9″ and 160 pounds (a real bundle of joy, LOL…) and she slugged me hard on my shoulder. I knew, within a millisecond that if I didn’t physically retaliate that was a green light for her and whenever she got really upset she could clout me at will. I backhanded her and told her to never do that again. Lesson learned. That was over 15 years ago…we still chat on the phone. Wouldn’t trust her within 10 feet of me, though. She’s a great grandmother, still under 60 y.o.

    • Bernard

      July 25, 2014 at 11:55 pm

      @aldon…and it’s that thinking that has women thinking they get a free pass to put their hands on men(knowing he won’t hit them back). My mother always told us to never hit women…but if one attacks us…then she gets what any man would get. People kill me saying a woman can’t hurt a man. That is bull$hit. If any woman rabbed back and punched you in the eye, it would be black or blue as if another man had hit you. Why should she get away with hitting a man. I agree with Stephen A. I told my sister and daughter the same thing. Don’t go around hitting on men if you don’t want to be hit. This isn’t an issue of size. If it were…a 6’5 man should never hit a man that is 5’5 back which would just give shorter men free passes to knock out men that are bigger. That’s nonsense. Why should it work differently for any woman. Can someone explain?

      • Jerry NRg Henderson

        July 27, 2014 at 11:03 am

        same advice I got from my mother… Im not an abuser, and Im the type of guy that believes in chivalry. But keep pushing that envelope, its gone eventually need a stamp.

        • sharon g

          July 29, 2014 at 12:10 pm

          I agree, if a man backs away from a woman and she continues to come after him and he has tried several times to diffuse the situation, then yes she is asking to be pushed away or struck back…..I’ve witnessed this, where the man is trying to get away and the attacker is the female…This is wrong also, no one should strike the other a all…..

    • Dick Nicholson

      July 26, 2014 at 12:48 pm

      Oh yeah? What about my mom who helped my stepfather molest me? Who hit me until I bruised? What about my ex who cheated on me, twice after I gave her a second chance? The same ex who stole from me and tried to call the cops on me for her leaving her drugs in my apartment after I kicked her ass out? You’re right, no reason.
      On a serious note – go fuck yourself you ignorant piece of whiteknighting shit.

  3. Larry

    July 25, 2014 at 5:34 pm

    When JayZ got hit by Beyonce’s sister why wasn’t she arrested…if it had of been the other way around there would have been an outcry for justice from women all over the public forum. Apply the same measuring stick for both sides.

    • Redbone

      July 25, 2014 at 7:06 pm

      Bey and Jay-Z are getting a divorce, so that should give you all the answers you need LarryJ… Jay-z is a cheating ba$tard… Solange loves her sister, and Bey loves Solange… I’d beat his a$$ too, especially if it was behind Rihanna… so get the he{{ over it…

      Redbone

      • Bernard

        July 26, 2014 at 12:00 am

        Hold on Redbone…lets look at this closer. So lets say it’s the other way around and Beyoncé was horing around. Would Jay Z’s brother have the right to slap her around as he saw fit? See you women kill me. You want things to work how you want it to when you want it to. Doesn’t matter if she walked in and he was balls deep in another woman. Ya’ll tell men to be men and walk away but you think it’s okay because you are a woman to kick a man’s ass even when it’s not your man…now what kind of logic is that? Because she loves her sister? Problem with this is she is going to think she can do this to another man and she’s going to get an Ike Turner special….then women everywhere will be calling for justice.

        • Redbone

          July 26, 2014 at 4:13 am

          Bernard
          You hold on!!! Redbone has read just about all these comments in this forum room!!! I swear you blackmen have just made the redbone all horney talking shyt about about hitting a women.
          There is a million and one ways to hit a women LMBAO!!! Have a sense a humor up in here will ya!!! I have red buuty will travel and sometimes I like to provoke just to feel a little sting on my aZZ… You guys are hilarious up in here LMBO!!!

          Redbone

          • Bernard

            July 26, 2014 at 6:58 pm

            lol….I hear ya girlfriend…Don’t get too horny now…lol You will have to get some good ole fashion TLC. 🙂

          • Pernell Parham

            July 27, 2014 at 7:49 am

            Hey Redbone!

  4. Ms. Dez

    July 25, 2014 at 5:35 pm

    If women don’t want a man to hit them, they shouldn’t put their hands on a man. On the other hand, no matter what a woman says, it doesn’t give the man the right to put his hands on her.

  5. Larry

    July 25, 2014 at 5:37 pm

    Let me be clear, putting your hand on women is a cowardly thing…but what gives anybody the right to physically attact another person

  6. Larry D

    July 25, 2014 at 5:53 pm

    Verbal provocation is not a reason for a man to physically respond to that provocation. Physical provocation by a woman is a justified reason for physical response. That is true in a court of law. Also, many women are physically fit and trained in martial arts and very capable of “whipping your behind”.

  7. Ralph

    July 25, 2014 at 5:59 pm

    No Larry far from being a coward been in the Gulf war and Iraqi Freedom. I will not be abuse by a man or woman. My wife knows better raise hand at me because I don’t do it to her.

  8. John Davison

    July 25, 2014 at 6:01 pm

    Let’s not take his words out of context. He’s saying women should use common sense. There are guys who be women for no reason. And there are guys who beat women because the dudes have short fuses. And then there are guys who normally don’t hit women but may get pushed over the edge. And then there are guys like me who never lay hands on a woman regardless. If your man is not in the last group then get away from him and find guys like me

  9. David Provitt

    July 25, 2014 at 6:02 pm

    Let’s be honest there are women who provoke men. I’ve seen sister’s spit on brothers do thousands of dollars worth of damage to a brothers property. I’ve heard a women tell her Husband that if he was any kind of man he would man up and whoop her a$$ and make her do what she was supposed to. So even though we all believe putting your hands on a women is wrong there are woman who seek out this type of drama. We just have to be more mature as men and recognize what type of character and personality the women we choose to deal are working with. Remember the sister that BURNED DOWN Andre Rison’s mansion in ATLANTA. Most men might not hit her but we would probably shake the weave out of her head

    • Daddy LongShanks

      July 26, 2014 at 5:18 pm

      The Andre Rison story was that she said he gave her AIDS. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but that was the supposed reason.

  10. Musa

    July 25, 2014 at 6:04 pm

    Let’s be real. Of course a man should never hit a woman. But that doesn’t give a woman free reign to get all aggressive and up in a man’s face either. I tell all my kids, male or female, don’t go looking for trouble. Don’t antagonize anyone, especially someone bigger and stronger. I’m a big fella, but I would be stupid to start sh*t with a cat that’s 6-9 and 300lbs. I don’t even like Steven A. Smith but I get where he is coming from. Being right and having me whip some dude after the fact won’t help a woman be “un-beat”. An ounce of prevention…

  11. Phillip Battle

    July 25, 2014 at 6:13 pm

    Man nor woman should write a check their azz can’t pay for. If you act like a man, prepare yourself to be treated like a man. However , it’s a sticky situation. Nowadays there are women who think they can take a man down,until that man knock them on their bottom. I believe in keeping ones hands to themselves.

  12. Imhotep

    July 25, 2014 at 6:29 pm

    She spit on him!! In his face!! The most vile thing you can do without being physical! And why was’nt Beyonce’s sister arrested? Double standard!! Anyone spits on me is getting a beat down!! Period!! Man, Woman or otherwise!!

    • Redbone

      July 25, 2014 at 7:11 pm

      I hope Bey take his rabbid-a$$ to the fkn cleaners for everything he got.

      Bey don’t mess around on her man, he messed around on her, sorry a$$ muthfuk-up wasn’t satisfied with what he had at home, then his sorry a$$ had his wife onstage giving the whole fkn world a d@mn lap-dance with her leggs gapped wide-open for every mans pleasure. ishhhh ugh!!!

      • Nefertetti

        July 25, 2014 at 11:28 pm

        Amen, I thought I was the only one that felt that way about what she did.That was very nasty & disrespectful. He’s not a man to have her do something like that.

      • Barbara

        July 26, 2014 at 2:22 am

        She is an adult. Her choice. She should have more respect for herself than obviously her husband has for her. Her track record says that she is not an innocent!

      • Bernard

        July 26, 2014 at 7:01 pm

        Well Bone…she did it and she grown…lol I never saw a gun to her head. 🙂 She knew what came with him when she married him. Most women do but they do it anyway…That’s what comes with the fame of men. Hoes love famous men and apparently some women do…so you have to get in where you fit in.

        • Redbone

          July 27, 2014 at 3:52 pm

          @Bernard you are so right. Some women believe marriage will change the man once they say I do, but that’s not true. I never like Jay-Z, I knew he was a dog all along. He tried to hookup with my youngest daughter the year he was marrying Bey, he told my daughter that it was no secret he was getting ready to marry Bey… He has never been faithful, too much money and power with no conscience. I schooled my girls, they are to smart and too beautiful to be stuck on stupid behind no good men, not on my watch..

  13. Pepi Talbett

    July 25, 2014 at 6:50 pm

    Aretha mentioned ,”if you want a do right woman you got to be a do right man”!

  14. AMO

    July 25, 2014 at 7:02 pm

    These comments can and will be interpreted as one wishes. Violence is wrong period.
    There is not enough talking.
    Like “I’m sorry”, or “can we talk about this”.
    It’s easy to get physical. Feeds our lower nature.

  15. hoopnupe

    July 25, 2014 at 7:04 pm

    Every man whom has ever struck a woman isn’t an abuser. This piece takes it seem that way. There are situations where a man may have lashed out out of provocation in a moment of anger. That doesn’t make him an abuser. It makes him someone who made an incorrect decision out of anger.

  16. Erroll

    July 25, 2014 at 7:05 pm

    Abuse is what it is. Provacation isn’t necessarily needed. That bring said, sometimes men and women are pushed to that point where they can lose control and act out. Violence is never a good thing. If you have to put your hands on your partner, you are probably in a bad relationship and it is time to part company.

  17. Ruth Lynch

    July 25, 2014 at 7:10 pm

    How about, we teach our women and young ladies that if a man puts his hands on you, “LEAVE HIM THE HELL ALONE.” I taught my daughters that violence is just not acceptable in a loving relationship. Obviously, he needs psychological help and she is not a therapist. In my estimation, value yourself, take responsibility for you life and there is not enough love in the world for you to subject yourself to a beat down. “If a man puts his hands on you, not only does he not love you, he doesn’t even like you.”

  18. Imhotep

    July 25, 2014 at 7:16 pm

    Lets not forget Rice’s wife was charged with assault also because spitting on someone is assault. He choose not to push it. If any of you all, women or man think that you can spit in someone’s face and not face their wrath, then go ahead and do it!! See what happens. Only a person with super low self esteem would take being spat on and ” turn their other stankin’ cheek” so you can spit on that one too…Yall kill me…I’m out…Hotep

  19. D. Maloney

    July 25, 2014 at 7:23 pm

    I see some people say, its cowardly to hit a woman for any reason. But it is just as cowardly to hit someone you know want hit you!

  20. Sumayyah

    July 25, 2014 at 7:28 pm

    Can some women provoke their man too hit them. Yes their are some that know how to push their mans buttons and some equate being beat to being loved. By no means should a man put his hands on a woman for any reason but my Nana always said eventually a hit dog will bite. I understand what Smith is trying to articulate here though he’s not doing good job at it. I have to say there is a double standard when it comes to women putting their hands on a man and there should not be I agree Solange should have been arrested Jayz would have been. Redbone you sound very ignorant to say he should have been hit for cheating, that’s like saying your man should beat you because you burned dinner. Everyone should keep their hands to themselves period. If you don’t you should be punished exactly the same!

  21. gscott

    July 25, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    As my Father would say keep your hands off one another.. neither and I mean neither one of you should be fighting one another.

  22. Jackson

    July 25, 2014 at 8:11 pm

    He is such a jerk. I am not surprised that he would say something like that.

  23. freddie Hines

    July 25, 2014 at 8:31 pm

    To make.a long story long but in short lets all.keep.our hands to ourselves. Indeed

  24. Mad Max

    July 25, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    No real lady would put herself in a position where she can be physically assaulted by a man she is familiar with. The was a YouTube video on last week, where a woman in a store was verbally abusive to a man standing in line behind her. She the then sprayed him with mace. In my opinion, he would be perfectly justified retaliating against her. The law gives every man and woman the right to defend themselves, and many states say you have no duty to retreat. Any person who enters your personal space aggressively is inviting a confrontation, and should be prepared for the consequences.

  25. Darryl

    July 25, 2014 at 8:54 pm

    I have read his remarks and find nothing wrong with any of it. In fact when he gets to the part where males who are part of her family show up I am in one thousand percent agreement. But we need to apply the rules equally on this issue with men and the female abusers.

  26. Kevin Watkins

    July 25, 2014 at 9:02 pm

    I understand exactly what Mr Smith was saying and the majority of the people who’ve read it or heard it I’m sure understand also. 1st of all “NO MAN SHOULD EVER, EVER PUT HIS HANDS ON A WOMAN” Now with that being said, let me say that women in their anger sometimes know how to push a man’s button that she knows will anger her companion. And they go even as far as daring you to do anything about it. I (&hope you do too) live in the real world and I know this is true. This happens routinely in the black community. I also want to note that there are true abusive relationships and I am not addressing those. I am addressing the relationship of a woman and a man in which this may have occurred once, maybe twice. I don’t believe you can just throw those incidents into the same category as an abusive relationship or call that domestic violence. So, my beautiful black sister’s I know you know what I am trying to say, just as a man should walk away if he feels his companions words or actions are stirring up emotions of anger within him, I believe woman should (& I believe it’s a majority of the time) walk away also if she feels her anger rising within her. It seems that most of the time men and women cannot argue without feeling they have to belittle/and or degrade the other. We carry the street mentality into the argument and we must win at all costs, no one is gonna out/over talk me and I will have the last word. The world has taught us that you don’t let people get over on you. If you hit me I must hit you back, to turn the other cheek means you’re weak. I pray that as you grow older and mature, you will come to the realization that that is a lie str8 frm the pit of hell. We all must learn conflict resolution. I’m sorry I did not mean to rant on so long but there is truth in what I’ve just said, and I hope it may help 1 person at least.

  27. James Jones

    July 25, 2014 at 9:09 pm

    The message is on point,adults must take responsibly for their actions verbal and physical. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you. That applies equally to men as.well as women. I Don’t understand why any adult should have freedom simply of their sex. S.A. Smith is 100%.correct on this issue.

  28. James Jones

    July 25, 2014 at 9:10 pm

    The message is on point,adults must take responsibly for their actions verbal and physical. Do unto other’s as you would have them do unto you. That applies equally to men as.well as women. I Don’t understand why any adult should have freedom simply because of their sex. S.A. Smith is 100%.correct on this issue.

  29. marvin

    July 25, 2014 at 9:16 pm

    African American Women Women who are Educated are more likely to avoid domestic violence,because they posses the knowledge and skill set to communicate and problem solve,when it comes to domestic issues.

  30. Dremazing

    July 25, 2014 at 11:03 pm

    It all boils down to the common sense knowledge that he’s speaking on. Yes, no man should put his hands on a woman. As to why so many people think it’s absolutely ok for a woman to put they’re hands on a man. And let’s be real. Some if not most women only hit men because they know that the man will nothit them back because the law is so slanted in the females direction. People act as is women just start beating and hitting men. This is nothing new. Two sayings my grandmother always shared with me. 1. Man, Women, Chic or Child. If your as is big and bad enough to pass a lick. You better be bad enough to take one. Another phylosophy she always shared was. 1. Don’t ever put your hands on a woman. 2. Don’t ever take any as whooping a from nobody. 3. Just don’t forget #2. I’m though.

  31. Devon

    July 26, 2014 at 1:16 am

    If a female put her hands on a man he should slap the beitch head crooked. Im a lady a LADY never puts her hands on a man EXCEPT in self defense. Any woman out her hands on a man aint a lady just a female that dig hittin dudes but does she dig gettin knocked the fukk out?

  32. Marvin Gillyard

    July 26, 2014 at 1:24 am

    A man SHOULD NEVER hit a woman. However if the woman cannot have a negative discussion with her mate without putting hands on him. Then she gets what she gets. I say walk away get out of that relationship.

  33. sulaiman ali

    July 26, 2014 at 4:50 am

    Steven A Smith comments was a depiction of cause and effect. He clearly stated that no man should put.hands on any woman. He illustrated getting to the root causes and alleviating them. Plain and simple!!!

  34. Renee Robinson

    July 26, 2014 at 6:57 am

    I get Stephen’s point. He does not seem to be blaming the victim nor justifying hitting of anyone. However, my understanding of what is quoted is that we all have to do our part prevent domestic violence.

    Coping mechnisms for the victums have been and still are is to remain in abusive situations even after surviving the first asault. Many victums stay for the wrong reasons and often fear and hope things will change if they change, or don’t do this or that.

    Domestic violence is wrong regardless of who is doing it male or female. Self control and deciding how to deal with conflicts matter. I have also witnessed people saying and doing things that could have given the people a reason to have to defend themselves or retaliate. It is also true that some abusers attack without a just cause. We must beware of abusive behaviors and deal with them head on. Pay attention to how we communicate and don’t be afraid to get help.

    I have decided I will not argue with anyone. If we cannot resolve it we will have to agree to disagree and part company for peace sake if necessary.

  35. MsFrances

    July 26, 2014 at 6:57 am

    I totally agree with him! Some women believe ‘a man should never hit a woman’ and this gives her a false sense io safety and arrogance! A man has a right to defend himself against anyone!
    Unsolicited violence is another story…
    Don’t invade anyone’s personal space in a threatening manner…
    I believe men are abused just as much, if not MORE than women…the incidents are just not reported and/or dismissed/shunned off because people feel that men should be able to “handle” abuse from women!
    Cause and effect…there’s a reaction to every action…

  36. Spencer W.

    July 26, 2014 at 8:10 am

    First off Spencer is my real name! I will NOT hide, this is how I feel… The idea of “No matter what, a Man should never put his hands on a Woman”, is #BS! I’ve had women tell me “I could make you fight me if I wanted to, & call the police on you!” I left those relationships, but not all women are innocent! Keep your hands to yourself & I will do the same. Don’t think because you’re “The Boss/Man”, at work or in your personal life that that puts you on my level at home….

  37. Barbara

    July 26, 2014 at 9:33 am

    A man should never put his hands on a woman, regardless of what she does to provoke him. Just walk away!

  38. shah

    July 26, 2014 at 9:52 am

    Provoking how deserve one..two actually.
    If a woman provokes me I will def punch her a few times.
    f.u. if you expected me to sit back as darn coward feminists…he’ll no.
    As a man I will fight for my self respect.
    Fcuk Chivalry, that’s for feminists minded cowards.

  39. Devon

    July 26, 2014 at 10:31 am

    Funny I read all the comments and not one comment about how females should never hit a man (unless in self defense). Somebody shoulda told that silly ho who got knocked the fukk out. She hit him and spit on him too shes not a lady shes a hooligan. I was taught to never hit a man (unless self defense) guess thats why I never got knocked the fukk out *shrug*

  40. Nikkee1974

    July 26, 2014 at 10:56 am

    I totally agree!!! He is right, in the Bible it advises for parents not to provoke their children & couples not to provoke each other to Anger. Which doesn’t mean that an topical abuser will be deterred from violence but the person that would usually Doesn’t engage in violence wouldn’t be pushed over the edge. Some people are pre-disposed to be Abusers because of their childhood or previous relationships, those ppl may not know how to communicate or talk out problems & without using their fists.

  41. Greer Stanford-Randle

    July 26, 2014 at 11:15 am

    As a woman w/ 68 years on the planet, I agree that Stephen A’s advice is sound.Also his perspective is balanced ; not biased against women

  42. Sistagirl from the Boogie Down Bronx

    July 26, 2014 at 12:12 pm

    Stephen is a a*&hole! End of discussion!

  43. Vnr

    July 26, 2014 at 12:46 pm

    Under no circumstance should anyone do any hitting. The first time it occur get out because if it happens one time it’s only a matter of time before it happen again. If someone provoke you to the point that you wants to cause harm, please go your separate ways. My niece did not get out in time and her four children watch as her husband stabbed her to death. He left the home and tried to reentered but one of the children was old enough and smart to lock him out and call her grandma who in turn call the police. Imagine what would had happen if that baby had not locked the door behind that killer.

  44. Joey

    July 26, 2014 at 12:55 pm

    David I have to agree with you there are some women out there that want a man to beat on them to keep them in line. I use to be married to one in Texas, we use to get into arguments and I would leave in order to calm the situation, one day she told me don’t leave me whoop my A$$ it hurts too much when you leave. I thought this fool is crazy right then and there I had to leave because I knew somebody was going to end up hurt and it wasn’t going to be me. I feel if a woman is mad at her mate for any reason say what you have to say and be done with it, don’t linger on it or put your hands on that man you’re asking for trouble when you are all his face cursing and disrespecting that man all men don’t have that self control to walk away.

  45. Clarissa Bennet

    July 26, 2014 at 1:25 pm

    Stephen A. Smith was almost inarticulate from the quotes I have just read. He did not say: “Women do not hit men because then they have every right to return the favour.” He did not say: “Women be warned that if you stand in the doorway blocking a man’s exit from your home he might have to put his hands on you to move you out of his path.” NO what Stephen A. Smith kept repeating was the words “provoke” and “provocation.” Any man can decide that a word, body language or even a look from a woman was enough provocation for him to resort to physical violence. NONSENSE!!

  46. George

    July 26, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Physicality comes into play for both men and women as a result of a break down in communication. The deeper is deeper than the act of domestic violence. All of the stressors that play into relationship dynamics and the inability of people to properly deal with them is one main source of the problem. There is also a profound disrespect for women in our community that objectifies and degrades women. This can be traced to the absence of men not teaching their sons that women are to be cherished and honored as equal partners in our society.

  47. ericaf

    July 26, 2014 at 2:50 pm

    If you’re talking, yelling, cussing that should not result in you getting hit by anybody, man or woman. Keep your hands to yourself. Nobody should make you that angry. He who angers you controls you.

  48. kimberly

    July 26, 2014 at 2:54 pm

    putting your hand on women is a cowardly thing…walk away….not doing so may put you in a situation where you will get your head blown off..

  49. Bert C

    July 26, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    The Answer to why they both were arrested lies in the elevator VIDEO, which the police won’t release. Everyone would be surprised as to what they will see. Somethings you can not do, without risking harm to yourself man or woman.

  50. Lucius

    July 26, 2014 at 3:38 pm

    I truly most sane people would agree a man shouldn’t hit a woman but, I would not go as far as saying never because I don’t speak in absolutes. Many individuals get lulled into a false sense of security believing that they have carte blanche or free reign to do whatever without consequences. JUST BECAUSE A MAN SHOULDN’T HIT YOU DOESN’T GUARANTEE HE WON’T!!! Since many want to tell others how they should respond in a situation do me a favor. Let’s conduct a social experiment on Monday walk up to someone of the opposite sex you don’t know and throw a cup of water in their face and see how quickly they just walk away. In the immortal words of Mike Tyson everyone has a plan until they get hit.

  51. redbone

    July 26, 2014 at 6:09 pm

    Okay everybody “Breath”…. Relax and take a deep breath!!!! Every black women in this room bend over at the count of 3 and just give these black men what they really want…..wink!! Now don’t be shy fellows y’all know all y’all wanna do is pop that a$$ with an open hand “Pow yow” so y’all can get a “RUSH”, your energy is real high up in here, ya need a fix….lmbo! Bottomline if you hit Red bone the wrong I’m gonna bust all y’all upside the head!!!!!

    • Bernard

      July 26, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      and what if you get hit the right way?lol It might be u getting the “rush”.lol

      • Redbone

        July 27, 2014 at 3:29 pm

        That’s okay Benard!!! But you are feeling me…wink! Some people just don’t know how to live, and a lot of that is because they are not free, but Redbone is free as a bird… You gotta always keep a sense of humor while blogging and having fun. Its the real world out there that seems to be kicking all our azz just from watching. But that bullshyt is not allowed in my house. I love blackmen, I don’t hate them, and on a personal level I don’t argue with them, because most times I do understand where they’re coming from just as long as they respect me.

        Let me just keep it real with ya. If I’m with my man and we are in a heated arguement and I decide i wanna punch his a$$, I do exspect to get hit back, but only turned over the knee and spanked the rest will takecare of it self..wink!!
        Too many of us play too many games in our relationships and don’t know how to play it out with our mates. Its what you make it, everybody has stress levels that need to be dealt with, just turn that bullshyt into foreplay and beat the devil at his own game, drink some wine and relax / chill and say what the fuk. Women are as sexu@l as their men are, and the lines in between are thiner then you guys realize they are, unless your partner just doesn’t really like you, then you have a real problem. I have a high respect for all strong gentlemenly blackmen of integrity, because they are always a pleasure to be around because they are full of wisdom and debenair, oldschool, and they know how to interact with blackwomen by keeping it clean especially if they are married, then you have those who are not, I flee them wasting no time. Bottonline we all should know how to get along, there is no excuse for hitting to cause one pain for hurting someones self-steem…

      • Redbone

        July 27, 2014 at 3:40 pm

        @Benard…

        Answer to you quest? This room is totally not ready for the Redbone to bring it like it really is, You’ll be so happy to come through your PC forreal!! Every body is not free on my level, my fantasy start in the spiritual realm and runs over into the natural realm / its a “MIND THANG” /MEDITATION, never out-dates itself…wink!!! Some pleasure come out of a little pain in the right place… No need for blackmen and blackwomen to beat each other down. Just feed what needs to be fed!!!wink!

  52. Patrick

    July 26, 2014 at 10:49 pm

    If a man or a woman hit me, they’d better be prepared to get hit back. EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO DE FRN’S THEMSELVES. No matter what the sex is, if someone hits you, you csn hit them back. I’ve been the abused in the relationship. I got called a woman beayer by that wretch that outweighed me by at least 60 lbs for leaving bruises around her wrists from having to hold them down so hard, so she couldn’t hit me in the face. She played the victim because I wouldn’t just let her punch me. Ruth lynch, Kevin wattkins, Marvin Gillyard, Kimberly, and Barbara you are all disgusting misandrists. A man should never lay his hands on a a woman? Oh ok I’ll just let myself get stabbed to death because of your retarded notion that being weaker means incapable of doing harm. Too bad studs show that women are the domestic abusers in 61% of the cases. To you four, fuck you. A woman comes swinging at me she better know how to box. Because she’s gonna get one shit that puts her right back in her place. I don’t get violent with anyone unless they decide they want to keep crossing the line after they’ve been warned. Nobody has to sit and take abuse, whether they are norn with a pecker or a gash.

  53. Patrick

    July 26, 2014 at 10:51 pm

    And you, Also Lloyd2, since you think size matters, why WOULDN’T a man hit back when a woman who out weighed him was swinging on him? By your own logic he has all the more reason to.

  54. Pastor Ray

    July 27, 2014 at 6:45 am

    The truth is domestic violence is an in mature response to an attempt to control someone. No Man should raise his hand to a woman (unless he is defending himself) because studies do show more women are attacking men. But Stephen A is right. Women do need to exercise common sense in potentially violent situations. Sometimes it is better to walk away. The power of life and death are in the tongue. Sometimes men and women need to be quiet no matter how mad you are.
    I tell my daughter if a man raises up to attack you; exit. If you cannot exit defend yourself to the death with whatever you have to, then call me and I will kill him, if he is not already dead, but if you attack him first be prepared for him to defend himself as well, and then call me but I am not going to kill him because you were the agressor and you were wrong for attacking/provoking him.

  55. Pernell Parham

    July 27, 2014 at 8:01 am

    Some things are better left unsaid. I would never abuse or hit a woman, but you have to defend your self. My woman and I had an argument and she went to stay with her sister, while she was gone, I was vacuuming and slipped and fell down the stairs and hurt my neck, I couldn’t even turn my head! She came home and I told her if she left again, to not come back. We couldn’t solve our minor problem with her leaving. She got mad and attacked me in my house. I put her in a headlock to stop her, she screams so loud, my grandmother, who stayed downstairs, thought I was killing her. I was so embarrassed…but who knows what she would have done to me had I not defended myself.

    • Redbone

      July 27, 2014 at 4:44 pm

      You know REDBONE gotta keep it real with you brothers, and to my sisters too. Many of you guys married the wrong mates for whatever reason.
      From Redbones experience real love / unconditional love don’t act out in those type of negative metaphors. Real-love is very emotional and physically outgoing at all times, its patient with its partner, its physically wide-open to experimenting on all levels to the point you wanna just crawl up-side each other, its inseperable its non-inhibited, its free and its undefiled, it appreciated its mate at all time, the love enhances / rejuvinates itself on a daily basis to the point when the physical act is over the mind is still being sexu@lly fed while your driving down the street in your car can cause you to make a complete U-turn and go back home to be physically joined back togther as (ONE) for both partners.. None of that is “LUST” it is designed and created by God in the fullness of his creation for man and woman.
      Its called “LIGHT & LIFE”, we have not because we ask not. Everything that comes from God for man that is positive has a “LIFE FORCE/SOURCE” that is off the chain and shall not ever be denied because it is designed to work that way.

      I HAD THE NERVE TO ASK: So I’m a witnes. This is one of the major reasons black-love is lost… Blackfolks don’t understand what true “unconditional love is”… The article is just about a negative flipside of the real thing, a place we don’t realize exist for all of us, mostly because we don’t believe or we are to lazy to put in the work.

      I’m a single blackwomen who has been single and celibate for over 13 14 years: why!! Because I refuse to except anything less then who I am because I know it won’t last, and that doesn’t mean black mean are no good, I’m just waiting on my cinderella she, designed and created by God just for me. I don’t choose / he choose me in Gods timing, and abuse never comes into the relationship. God don’t half step on his business…

      • Redbone

        July 27, 2014 at 4:48 pm

        Waiting on my cinderella (SHOE)… mis-spell

  56. Imhotep

    July 27, 2014 at 10:22 am

    I heard a retired cop on espn radio last night say if rice had hit her he would have been prosecuted. She had no marks or bruises and a foitball player’s hand will leave a bruise. She said he would have been prosecuted!! That elevator tape holds the truth, and we have not seen it? Hotep

  57. Dorian wingard.

    July 28, 2014 at 8:43 pm

    No

  58. Vicky

    July 29, 2014 at 10:58 am

    I’ve seen a lot of woman push a man and she got her ass kicked. I didn’t feel sorry for her

  59. sharon g

    July 29, 2014 at 12:13 pm

    Stephen Smith should shut the hell up sometimes, he talks too damn much for me…..He’s no expert on anything….

  60. Kikay Exum

    July 31, 2014 at 2:10 pm

    It is very painful reading most of the comments…and it is equally painful to know…have witnessed police disrespecting Black men..watched video’s of Black men getting punched…kicked..stomped by the damn police…very few resist and I have yet lived long enough to see BROTHER’S coming to the aid of another while being PROVOKED and BEATEN. Embrace the book: The Art of War and know who the real enemies are. Oh..by the way, I am sure most have heard on seen the video of the cop who BEAT a Black grandmother on the side of the highway in Calif. No one stopped…demanded he stop or enough come to her aid…damn I know my role as a woman..but the warrior spirit would have come forth with the strength of the Ancestors and said or done something. Even if it cost me my life. Oh by the way, there was one male who did assist the cop to subdue the woman while trying to block the punches! I know there are neighborhoods where the cops better not come in with their madness..the MEN stand together to do what is necessary..the woman close by to assist if need be. Heaven help them if the uncles..aunties,grandfathers and grandmother’s join in!! LOVE & PROTECT EACH OTHER

  61. Joanne

    July 31, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    This is the first I’ve read his comments and he was certainly off-base and ignorant of the causes and outcomes of domestic abuse.

    But, I did hear his “apology” on ESPN, and it was the most arrogant, irresponsible and insulting statements I’ve heard on TV in a long time.

    Did he mean to say “I’m sorry”? Maybe that is just his arrogant personality, but his “apology” is NOT accepted.

  62. Regina Butler

    August 1, 2014 at 10:31 pm

    I agree with Stephen A. I too have witnessed a woman provoke a man and even threw a broken bottle at him cutting his ear. He pinned her arms down and laid her on the ground. Laid like one would lay a baby down. I went to his home the next day a volunteered to write a statement in his defense to have if the incident went to court. I also teach my high school female students to keep their hands off of the make students.

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