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Nomalanga: Six Ways For Women To Avoid Divorce

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blackBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

Anyone who has been married for at least five years  and still has a healthy and functional marriage, if they are being honest, will tell you that they have had at least one rough patch, probably more. Best selling author, Laura Doyle, wrote a very controversial book years ago, based on her experience with her own marriage that had reached the “divorce-point”. By following six simple principles, outlined in the book, “The Surrendered Wife,” she was able to not only avoid a divorce, but she was also able to experience marriage in a much more joyful and peaceful way.

Please be warned; if you have some sort of aversion to “submission” (as a lot of modern women do), these principles may rub you the wrong way but, having read the book that these principles are based on, I can assure you that while there may be some seemingly similar points, it is not the same. I also caution anyone reading these principles, not to dismiss them until they have tried them. What have you got to lose? Maybe…just, maybe…your marriage can change for the better.

The principles are as follows:

1. Do at Least Three Things a Day for Your Own Pleasure

Ladies, let’s be honest-being tired, hungry and overwhelmed are bad for you and they are even worse for your marriage or relationship. In order to be your best self, you need to be patient, compassionate and open to intimacy and that becomes less and less likely when you do not practice self care. Says Doyle,

“Self-care — focusing on your own pleasure — takes the pressure off your husband to make you happy (he can’t anyway). Your good mood also signals to him that he can succeed in delighting you, which inspires him to want to do just that. By treating ourselves well, we also teach other people how to treat us. Having fun every day is not only critical for a satisfying romance, it’s part of a life well-lived.”

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