black women

“I’m a big girl, guys think I’m insecure” – What do I do?

By  |  0 Comments

By Dr. Sinclair Grey III

There’s not one particular rule for being attracted to someone. No matter how many seminars or workshops a person attends, they are simply attracted to whomever they’re attracted to. However, before there can be any outward attraction, there needs to be some inner attraction. Let me say it this way – without loving yourself from the inside out and the outside in, you’ll find yourself accepting anything and everything.

In a recent article in Madame Noire, a woman posed this question,

“Dear Damon,

I’m 22 have one kid and have not had any luck with relationships period…. I guess because I’m a big girl guys think I’m insecure and only want me for sex. How can I get people to notice more than just my size and look at my inner beauty?


Big and Beautiful:”

This letter alone can raise some serious issues. The first issue is low self-esteem. The second issue is the need for a relationship. And the third issue is the need and/or desire for sexual satisfaction. You can choose one for yourself, however, I’m not here to give my opinion of her or judge her. I’m simply reporting what the response was that she received.

The advice given to her was by Damon Young (aka “The Champ”) co-founder of the ridiculously popular

Damon addressed this woman’s question by first stating that the advice he was going to give her was the same advice he gave his niece, who happens to be the same age, 22. He was very clear that his advice would be blunt and helpful.

Here is some of what he said:

1. “You’re 22 – like 10% of people on the planet have great relationship luck at 22.”

2. “You cannot make people see what they want to see when they see you.”

3. “The more fun you’re having with life, the more it looks like you’re living instead of waiting, the more people are going to want to be around you.”

Let’s hope this sister heeds this advice and never feel the need to settle for settling.

Source: Madame Noire

Dr. Sinclair Grey III is a speaker, writer, activist, published author of (5) books, life coach, and liberator of persons from all intellectual, social and cultural walks of life. He is a committed advocate for change. Email: Follow on Twitter @drsinclairgrey. Visit his website: