black women

Yolanda Spivey: Why are we sending mothers to jail for being unable to afford daycare?

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shanesha

By Yolanda Spivey

The case of Shanesha Taylor received national attention.  If you’ll recall, she’s the 35 year old homeless woman from Arizona who was arrested after leaving her two young children in her Dodge Durango while she went to a job interview.  As a mother,  this  case struck me to the core, because I have a confession:  I am Shanesha Taylor.

No, I’ve never left my child in a car while I went to a job interview, but I have done some things out of desperation that will leave some to question my parenting skills. For instance, when my child was first born, I couldn’t afford childcare, so I would sneak him into my office and sit him under my desk for the full seven hours while I was at work.  I did that for a week until I was able to get enough money to put a deposit down on a place for him at a local childcare facility.  And when he turned 3, he spent the last semester with me at college.  That’s right, I took him to virtually every class that I had to take in order to graduate.

The fortunate thing about my situation was my kid was a well behaved child and hardly cried.  So it was easy for me to sneak him into the office.  My boss was hardly ever there.  When at school, my classmates were so enamored by his presence, they welcomed him. My professors seemed to not have mind—I guess they knew my situation and never questioned my actions.

Like Shanesha Taylor, there was no village for me, so I had to what I had to do.

The village has left millions of women to fend for themselves. Back in the day, grandparents, aunts and cousins all lent a hand when it came to helping out with childcare.  If they weren’t available, there was always a neighborhood lady, (I’ll call her Ms. Rosemary), who would watch all the neighborhood children while mothers went out to work or run errands.

Today, families live further away from each other or are simply just not there.  Also, there are no more Ms. Rosemary’s, and if there are any left, you have to be careful that they don’t have someone in their home that could potentially harm your child.

Our society has grown quite alienated from one another—it’s no wonder why Shanesha Taylor had no one to care for her young ones.  It’s also no wonder why she was homeless, living in her Dodge Durango. Sometimes, help isn’t there.

I know I’m going to face a lot of criticism in writing this article.  Some would say, ‘well if you can’t take care of your children, then why have them at all.’  But that’s not the question that should be asked.  The question we should ask is, should Shanesha Taylor and other women who are put in desperate situations be thrown in jail for making the only decision they saw fit at the time?  Should they  lose their children in the process too?

What’s even more disparaging are the comments I’ve read on my facebook page from friends and acquaintances. While some sympathized with Shanesha Taylor, others berated her for her decision.  People are so quick to judge until they are faced with the very same situation.

In my opinion, all Shanesha Taylor is guilty of is being a poor single mother in America.  Not only has she lost her children,  she has also lost her freedom and now has a bigger battle to fight.

Maybe Shanesha Taylor saw that job interview as a way out of that Dodge Durango—so she took a chance and made a decision that would change her life forever.

It makes me think of the privileged mothers like the CEO of Yahoo! Marissa Mayer, who was fortunate enough to not only have a well paying job, but was able to build a nursery right next to her cushy office at Yahoo’s headquarters.

The Shanesha Taylor’s of the world go to jail while the Marissa Mayer’s of the world build nurseries.  I ask you:  Is this the America that we want to create?

Yolanda Spivey writes on a variety of topics and is the founder of Black Insurance News. She can be reached at organize@yourblackworld.net or  you can visit her Facebook page.

 

324 Comments

  1. Sharron

    April 3, 2014 at 11:20 am

    I heart goes out this mother because yes i was heterosexual about 20 years ago. People do not know your story or the shoes you walk in until they actually had been there or done tha
    t.

  2. aleximaq

    April 3, 2014 at 11:51 am

    Oh Wow…..I have snuck my child into work and hid him under my desk too….when I had to work mandatory overtime…at the time it was not because I couldn’t afford daycare, no one would keep him. And how many college classes has this child been to?….I guess when he actually goes for himself, it will be quite familiar to him….I guess we have all been somewhere…..

    • Arreba

      April 3, 2014 at 12:30 pm

      You can not trust everyone in the “Village” to appropriately care for your child and learned this the hard way when I let a woman who lived in my apartment complex briefly look after Avery…I found out that she routinely drinks and smokes weed, and I did not want my son around that. It’s tough being a parent, but I love being a mother and am thankful for my son…

      • Yolanda Spivey

        April 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm

        YES!!! I brought that out in the article. You have to be careful of people who care for your child. They can be incompetent or have someone else around who is.

        • Regina

          April 5, 2014 at 12:45 am

          I was a latchkey kid myself. My parents told me not to answer the door for no one. One day my grandmother came by to check on me and she knocked on every door and window and I would not answer the door. She went home, called me and cussed me out and asked why I didn’t answer the door for her.

          I told her that mamma and daddy said, not to open the door for anyone. If you have a problem with that, take it up with them.

          When my parents came home, I told them what happened and they said that they will discuss it with grandma again. She called and they told her that they said, not to open the door for anyone and my mother said, you cannot say, that my child, your granddaughter cannot follow our rules.

          One day, I came home from school. My parents were at work. I went into the kitchen to prepare dinner. I heard some noise from the front door. I saw a white man’s arm coming through the mailbox next to the door trying to open it.

          My father has a weird looking hammer. It had the head of a sledgehammer and the claws came out hooked and with sharp points.

          I took that hammer to that man’s hand and arm and he had a h-e-ll of a time trying to get his hand out of the mailbox. I kept hitting him until he left.

          I opened the door and cleaned up the blood.

          A couple of days later, I saw Scotty, neighborhood molester (possible) with his hand all bandaged up. I asked Scotty, what happened to his arm and he said that the dog tripped him and he broke his arm. I said to myself LIAR.

          My father died not knowing what happened and I finally told my mother months before she passed. She asked why and I told her, that I knew how to take care of myself and if he came in. I know how to use daddy’s double barrel shot gun.

          I was surrounded by decent neighbors at that time, but my parents taught me how to take care of myself. Not only did I have my father’s shot gun, but I had my mother’s pistol nearby as well.

          I was eight at that time.

          Where and how do I donate funds for her defense or for her children?

    • Yolanda

      April 4, 2014 at 1:28 am

      How many hot cars have your locked your babies in? Did you plan to leave them there for an hour?

      This woman didn’t come back until 45 minutes AFTER the police had arrived and rescued her kids. 98 degrees outside can shoot up to 160 degrees inside a car within 5 minutes!

  3. ericaf

    April 3, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    Article bought me to tears. We all have a story to tell when we’re single and trying to do right by our kids . If she was white the ridicules would not have been so harsh. Remember some years ago a principal forgot her baby in the car and it died from the heat? She didn’t go to jail, people sympathized with her because she said her husband usually dropped the baby off, and she didn’t hear the baby because it probably fell asleep. This woman is trying to make a living to get her family out of the situation she’s in. She doesn’t need to be prosecuted.

    • Yolanda Spivey

      April 3, 2014 at 2:11 pm

      Wow, that’s a great case to compare this situation to Ericaf!!!

    • Yocheved

      April 4, 2014 at 1:30 am

      But in this case, she left them in the car ON PURPOSE, she didn’t just “forget”. That woman is lucky she’s not planning two little funerals right now.

  4. godfather05

    April 3, 2014 at 12:25 pm

    It would have been good if she has someone to sit in the car or take the children to a near by park or a bench to sit on while she went for an interview. However, I am not condemning her because she is trying to live the so called American Dream and the same people who criticized her are the idiots who will be the first to say she should get a job. How can they put her in jail and not put Bush and Cheney in jail.

  5. milwood

    April 3, 2014 at 12:33 pm

    we are the blame for the situation we are in, decisions we made put us where we are at. I didn’t read the whole article but I glad she had the sense to leave windows down so heat won’t kill the kids. she don’t need to go to jail for trying to do the right thing, jail and foster care will make it worst. At least she was trying to do something positive..

  6. Phyllis

    April 3, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    She deserves a hand not handcuffs

  7. Edgar oyola

    April 3, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    This is BS she did what she thought was ok at that moment because she had no one to help her and the kids so they put her in jail away from her kids that she was trying her best to take care of but there goes a rich MF who destroys his own kids lives by raping and probably beating them confuses to the judge and he goes free so sad

  8. Mikey

    April 3, 2014 at 1:51 pm

    Headline is what I expect when black people are involved she did not go to jail for not paying for day care. She went to jail for endangering children.

    people. Look at the facts! The homeless issue is not valid.. Bit we black people will use any excuse to justify ratchet behavior.

    sickening article.

    • Yocheved

      April 4, 2014 at 1:31 am

      Truth!

  9. #Prochildren

    April 3, 2014 at 1:54 pm

    First, she was not homeless. She did not have a siiter. She should’ve taken the kids inside the interview with her. She put those childrens lives in jeopardy. Question, if you can’t afford the first child why have a second child. I don’t feel sorry for the mothet, I feel sorry gor the kids. She brought them in this world in a negative situation. Not giving the children a chance. People feel pity for her, please!!! The kids are now safe, being fed and not neglected. Now she’s being neglected in a jail cell and she sees how it feels. She now needs, probation, stable environment and parenting CV lasses before she gets her kids back.

    • Sakonya

      April 3, 2014 at 4:48 pm

      Prochildren I am glad that your life is so perfect that you can be so critical of this mother. Yes, I feel bad for her and her children because she was trying to do what she could for them. She took a chance, which many of us have, in order to try to do better for them, which she brought into this world. You remind me of the people who call themselves, “pro-life” and then don’t think and want any programs in place to help parents and families with real life situations in which they have to house, feed and clothe their children. You can’t have it both ways; these children should be with their mother and she needs some help right now. She does not need to be made into a felon so that she will become disenfranchised – no voting, public housing, and above all, no job.

    • Yocheved

      April 4, 2014 at 1:32 am

      Thank you! The innocent children didn’t have a choice in this matter, the mother did. Now her choices are much narrower, and the kids are finally safe.

    • Marsha Booker

      July 7, 2014 at 10:07 am

      First, perfect person that you are, do you know how to use SPELL CHECK, then use it and proof read your comment before you start putting someone else down! How do you know what her situation was like when she had her first or second child? Maybe she did have the means to provide for her children and for whatever reason she was placed in a position where she needed temporary assistance. She wasn’t begging for a handout but a hand up so that she could take care of her kids. She wasn’t looking for pity either she was trying to be independent and provide for her kids. You, with your perfect self would probably be the one to close the door in her face and not give her any support. You probably got a few babies yourself and living off of their daddies or the welfare system (instead of working yourself) or maybe you ain’t got any children at all and don’t know what it feels like not to have all the necessities to give your kids the things they NEED! With your perfect self thinking you’re better than her wouldn’t even offer to babysit while she went to her interview. If she had taken her kids inside and you were the one doing the interview you would automatically held it against her that she had to bring her children to a job interview. It didn’t say anything about her kids not being fed or at least I don’t remember that part. How do you know that her kids are better off? She DOES NOT DESERVE to be locked up and her kids should not have to be in foster care, give her a job and a place she can afford so she can take care of her family and live her life…

  10. Cheryltia

    April 3, 2014 at 7:42 pm

    First of all, no one can judge her but God and secondly, no matter what anyone had to say about her leaving her children in her Durango she was pushed to her limit and was trying to make a difference in the situation she was in. Until you have walked in her shoes and been homeless, hungry, lonely and desparate then nothing you say make a difference. We need to start helping each other and reaching out to support one another. In America, it’s like every man is for himself. I have been in her shoes and the pain I felt was beyond words. I took my daughter to work with me on the weekends and took her to school with me in the evenings. I also took her on my job interviews with me and she helped me get the job. I was lucky that people were understanding in wanted to help. I hope the judge has some compassion for her and give her a second chance.

    • Yocheved

      April 4, 2014 at 1:33 am

      How many hot cars have your locked your babies in? Did you plan to leave them there for an hour?

      This woman didn’t come back until 45 minutes AFTER the police had arrived and rescued her kids. 98 degrees outside can shoot up to 160 degrees inside a car within 5 minutes!

  11. Rosella

    April 3, 2014 at 7:47 pm

    This is a tragic story; Ms. Taylor’s children are now in the system and she will have to fight to get them back. I do not condone leaving vulnerable children in a car to go to a job interview or anywhere else for that matter. However, I agree that Ms. Taylor’s circumstances speak to a deeper issue in the African American community – loss or erosion of the extended family concept – which the author of this article so eloquently spoke to.

    I recently concluded a study regarding inter-generational trauma in the African American community in fulfillment of the requirements for my doctoral degree; the findings are interesting, and they may shed light on what the African American community is facing that leads to this type of situation in African American families. If anyone is interested in the study, it will be available after my defense, which I anticipate will occur by the end of this month. Write me at rosella1056@aol.com. Spread love, not hate. May God bless Ms. Taylor and her (our) children.

  12. F Walker

    April 3, 2014 at 8:19 pm

    Ms. Taylor should not be in this situation of being homeless AT ALL. I read that this lady is a combat veteran. Really? This is how we treat our veterans? Shame on you America and shame on all who may say she should not have left the children in the car. Really? What the hell was she to do? She was trying to uplift her and children out of that situation only to fall in a black hole again. From one veteran to another, may God bless you Ms. Taylor, my wingman as we refer to each other in the Air Force.

  13. Mattie

    April 3, 2014 at 8:56 pm

    My heart bleeds for Ms.Taylor. I,too know the feeling,35 years ago. You do what you have to do at that given time. I wish there was some way we could help her. She needs help, not persecution. These cases need to be seen in a different light, not stereotyped. My prayers are with and for her.

  14. #Prochildren

    April 3, 2014 at 9:24 pm

    What about what the children need? It should be children first! These comments are so sad, that people are making up excuses for neglecting children.

    • Yocheved

      April 4, 2014 at 1:35 am

      Seriously! It’s like no one cares at all that these kids were only a few minutes away from baking to death. Oh well, she can always make more, right? SMDH

      • Glochat

        April 4, 2014 at 4:04 pm

        Some people are so foolish and u are one, No compassion at all. I always say until u walk in that persons shoes u shouldn’t be so quick to judge. No she shouldn’t be in jail, she should be united with her children and given a job and some help until she is able to afford daycare. Sometimes foster is worse and even deadly. And that’s my opinion and truth.

  15. Khalif El'Muhammad

    April 3, 2014 at 10:32 pm

    Get a petition going so that we can sign it and take a stand on behalf of that sister who’s only alleged offense was trying ton make a better life for her and her children. Here you have a heir to the DuPont family fortune rape his two children one 3yrs and the others age I am unaware of, but this guy was found guilty of raping his own infant children and the judge say that jail would be too harsh of a sentence for him, but they want to lock up people for trying to provide for their children. Ok amerikkka!

    • Mikey

      April 4, 2014 at 11:00 pm

      You cannot compare crimes. Because when you do, you open yourself up to the other extreme end of them. Each crime stands on it’s on merit.

      Check the real story. Not one dolled up by a sista who can never call it like it is.

      http://www.cbsnews.com/news/cops-mom-left-young-kids-in-hot-car-to-attend-job-interview/

      Btw, it was a two year old and a 6 month old.

    • Marsha Booker

      July 7, 2014 at 11:05 am

      I often it is the ones that are down and out and trying to do the right thing even if done the best way, are caught up in more trouble than they should be… jail is not the answer to her problem. It would have been one thing if she had left her children while she was in the club twerking but she was in a business trying to find gainful employment to provide and care for her children. As for the DuPont family heir, it was b/c he had the money to buy off persecution and his children put back in the hands of the monster that was and will again abuse them. They will probably grow up to kill him and it will be justifiable b/c of the abuse he put them through. Where were their care providers and why aren’t they being locked up for negligence, seeing as how they did not protect them from him? When ever the petition is started on behalf of Ms. Taylor be sure to post it on Facebook, Twitter and other social media networks so we can all sign it.

  16. Devon

    April 3, 2014 at 11:30 pm

    She wasnt cryin when she was lettin nuccas bust all up in her, she gets knocked one time then again. Dont feel sorry for her just the kids. We dont think when we do dumb sheit just screw aint sheit nuccas and push there babies they dont want, then wanna play victim when that sheit dont work right.

  17. HiC486

    April 4, 2014 at 7:41 am

    Would be nice if employers could recognize that single mothers are desperate for jobs to care for their babies. It’s tough being a single mother. You think the dad is going to be there for you and his kids, but he doesn’t care to be. I cannot judge this woman, because I understand. When you’re between a rock and a hard place, what does one do? I think…not knowing the situation…I would have stayed there with the children, if I could have, and waited for the mom to return instead of reporting her to the police. Then talked to the mom, admonishing her never to do that again. If you waited 3 yrs to find a job and finally get an interview, but can’t find a babysitter or you don’t have the money to pay for one, a person will only do what they can and hope for the best. Would it have been different if she told her interviewer her plight and rescheduled the interview? Yes. But she probably wouldn’t have been hired.

    • Devon

      April 6, 2014 at 1:16 am

      The beitch shouldve called her family i see she and the kids are with her family after they got that reward money is over 80,000 dollars now i smell a rat.

    • Devon

      April 6, 2014 at 1:24 am

      single mothers arent employers priority the best ppl for the job is priority. Plus you said you would stay with the kids, so your stupid azz would stand by the car thats almost a hundred degrees with two babies in the car and one screaming instead of calling the cops and the ambulance, becuz the babies couldve had heat stroke and died, yeah you a dumb beitch. I wouldve called the cops and ambulance instead of covering up for that trifling h@e.

  18. #Prochildren

    April 4, 2014 at 11:54 am

    Excuses, excuses, and excuses!!!! Did she leave a two year old and a six month old in a car for forty five minutes with the windows cracked. Was this in the hot state of Arizona? Were the kids crying in the car? All the answers are yes. The love of money is the root of evil. It’s very sad how people are fighting for the mother and not the children. Lord, please help the children. The money should go towards the children and a better life for them.

  19. Daisy

    April 4, 2014 at 2:16 pm

    There’s no way this woman should have been put in jail and her kids taken away from her. She is a homeless woman trying to better herself. Think about it, she was on a job interview, not in a welfare office. With unemployment being as high as it is today, it is a miracle that she was able to get an interview for a job. Don’t condemn and lock this woman up, give her back her kids and help her.

    • Devon

      April 6, 2014 at 1:32 am

      Beitch need to be in jail her babies couldve died.

  20. Shannon

    April 6, 2014 at 3:55 am

    I have one question, if this mother had come to you and explained to you her situation, how many of you would have watched her children while she went to the interview?

    I have read all of these comments and only two people have asked what they could do to help this mother, the problem is that people are quick to say what they would have done or what she should have done because they are not in the situation.

    I agree that she shouldn’t have left the kids in the car, however, if people today would stop being so jaded and make mothers like Ms. Taylor feel like she could ask for help then maybe she would have, we only know what the media reports you have no idea what occurred even 5 minutes before she made her decision, think about that before you judge.

    • Devon

      April 7, 2014 at 3:01 am

      Women can help themselves by not screwing random dudes that just wanna dump kum in them then leave them.

  21. Barbara

    April 6, 2014 at 11:41 am

    Perhaps the Mother can seek help through one of the local Black Churches. Speak to the Pastors and ask if they can recommend someone to look after the children–for free, until she gets on her feet.

    Once I helped a neighbor who needed a baby sitter by recommending someone in my church whom I knew to be a “reputable” young woman. My neighbor was very pleased with this young woman services. I too help out through my church and other organizations (Big Sister Association).

    This young woman, Shanesha Taylor, should NOT be in jail. It should be explained to her that once she gets a job, she can not leave her children home “alone” to go to work. A fire can break out while she’s away. Give the Mother the help and advice she needs to take care of her children.

  22. Devon

    July 7, 2014 at 3:39 am

    This sheit again?????? Stop havin’ babies when you po’ and broke.

    • CJ

      July 7, 2014 at 10:09 am

      Really! Then most of us would not be here, would we!

  23. Sherrie

    July 7, 2014 at 8:02 am

    People is so dam judgmental this woman worked for the sorry ass military and we put her in jail. We should put the sorry as@ government in the jail. There so many of are veterans homeless on the streets the country is sorry as sh@t. The government should be ashamed of themselves but they to dam busy trying to tell other countries how they should be when they need to get there own sh@t in order but the ones who judge will be judge so God will have the last say.

  24. Lene

    July 7, 2014 at 12:00 pm

    @ Devon, you are obviously sick! We don’t know what type circumstances her kids were conceived, for all we know her financial situation could’ve been better, then. It’s not even our busines. @Prochildren nd Yocheved, the two if you make me sick! I hope one day you find yourselves in a dire situation, one that make you feel trapped, and there is no way out. A situation where you feel like the life will slowly leak from your bodies. It’s so darn easy for you to sit up and judge this woman online in the safety of your personal domains. You see the other people and myself on this website know nothing personal about you or any choices, right or wrong, you’ve ever made. So, you can pretend like you and your ways are as pure as the white snow. If this young woman was your neighbor and asked you to watch her kids, you would have more than unlikely told her no. And another thing, what in the hell make the two of feel the children are better of in a foster home? Oh, I guess child abusers, molesters, and just plain evil.people don’t exist in them. I pray that everything works out well for the whole family. Some commented that thus woman is a veteran. If this is true, shame in the USA!

  25. Hector Maisonet

    July 7, 2014 at 3:06 pm

    Its real sad the way society is so quick to judge others when most closets are overflowing. I think that’s in poor taste that anyone on here that can say something as ” stop having babies when your poor” your ignorance is another reason we will always behind. Some people can’t even afford to not have the children because they don’t even have the money to pay for those type of procedures. But I digress from my point. I feel for women because most end up getting stuck when the father takes a quick exit left. Having kids is a TWO PERSON Deal. So while society is at this poor womans throat for trying to survive, why not ask “Where is the father during this & why is it only her responsibility?” don’t judge anyone because for one we are not in that position to and two instead of pointing fingers how about lending a hand to a person in need. Humanity its what “humane” comes from!

  26. Devon

    July 8, 2014 at 5:11 am

    Lene – i been fukkin the SAME BLKMN for SIX DAYUM years that I met when I was 19. This week i married him. No oow babies no abortions no miscarriages. Now how the hell you think i did that? DEPO PROVERA SHOT four times a dayum year and my ne hubby wore condoms. We fukked responsibly. We didnt wanna have babies ourside of marriage we wanted our future babies to be born in a intact traditional household just like me and my brother was and my husband and his brothers and sisters were. Birth control and condoms work. Now dont you think its strange that some blk wmn my age and the old azz ones think that blkwmn like me are an anomaly??? That sheit is weird becuz blkwmn like me do the right thing by our future children 1st education then the house then love then marriage now aint that the right way to do it? To secure a good environment and situation to bring blk babies into thats what blk pple did way back in the day right well i didnt read the memo that said its cool to push out babies in poverty becuz as my pops and moms said its not right to bring forth life when you are incapble of givin that baby EVERYTHING its gonna need. So if 72% of babies born oow then that mean only 28% born in marriage and you dont see a problem with that well i do and i said since I was a teen that no baby of mine was gonna be a part of that percent that i was gonna be married to a good brotha before I had kids and i got my good brotha. In two yrs we start workin on the babies; TWO only becuz that all we can afford and we aint tryin to struggle financially we know what we can afford and thats all we having and thats the smart commonsense way. Yes or no??

  27. jaime love

    July 9, 2014 at 6:58 am

    “Naive people tend to generalize people as—-good, bad, kind, or evil based on their actions. However, even the smartest person in the world is not the wisest or the most spiritual, in all matters. We are all flawed. Perfection doesn’t exist in anyone. Nor, does a person’s mistakes make them less valuable to the world.” ~ Sharon Alder

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