11 ways to know if you’re a horrible black parent

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Being a parent can be tough.  But it’s not difficult to be a bad parent.  To do that, all you have to do is make a baby, which you already knew how to do from the time you hit puberty.  So, we’re going to call out the bad parents, but all in fun.  But this list might be serious if this is one of your kids.

How to know if you are a terrible black parent:

1)   If your child knows the latest Youtube dance and all the Trinidad James lyrics, but still doesn’t know his ABCs

2)   If your daughter’s goal in life is to grow up and become a basketball wife

3)   If your child is seen twerking, anywhere at anytime, before the age of 18

4)   If your son is sagging during his first job interview and then doesn’t understasnd why he didn’t get the job

5)   If your child grows up and brags about never having gone to jail, or expects a big party every time he gets out

6)   If your baby has $100 sneakers, an ear ring and a Sean Jean sweat shirt, but you claim you can’t afford to buy him books

7)   If your child watches BET for four hours a day after school (actually, we recommend never watching BET for any reason, but that’s up to you)

8)   If you attend every basketball game but none of the PTA meetings

9)   If your child is the loudest, cussingnest kid in the entire first grade and you think it’s cute

10)  If your child is the one teaching the other first graders where babies come from

11) If your unmarried child with no job makes you a three-time grandmother by the time he’s 21 and you’re the one doing all the baby-sitting

Don’t be this parent.  Raise ya damn kids.



  1. Darrick

    March 22, 2014 at 2:33 pm

    We can call these people bad parents but it points to larger issues. Number one the absence of real male role models. Number two excepting poverty as a culture instead of a temporary condition. And finally number three Lowered expectations for young people

  2. Corbin

    March 22, 2014 at 5:00 pm

    I am certain that this list has stepped on a lot of toes. That is probably why there are only 2 responses. All in fun you say. You know you meant every word but you had to say that because you know how people are. lol

  3. helen

    March 22, 2014 at 5:06 pm

    I think its great that these ppl who are committing don’t allow their children to watch BET orTV!!!

    • helen

      March 22, 2014 at 5:10 pm

      ** commenting **

  4. keepitreal

    March 22, 2014 at 7:08 pm

    Eh, I’m not sure why this makes you a terrible black parent, specifically…this probably means you’re a terrible parent, regardless of your race

  5. NoMaam

    March 23, 2014 at 1:15 am

    Yall tried it…

  6. mark english

    March 23, 2014 at 4:11 pm

    is this mag biased toward black negrobed wenches/dikes??? since the vast majority of fucked up parents that have custody are negrobed wenches…why dosent this picture shoe what is normal???

  7. sam jones

    March 23, 2014 at 7:07 pm

    Well some of you might remember the play “Ain’t Suppose to die a Natural Death” You might remember the famous line ” Ni@@ERS GOT MORE RECORDS THAN BOOKS.” WELL DO YOU? I DON’T AND I KEEP COUNT (lol)

  8. Caryn G.

    March 24, 2014 at 4:55 pm

    I wanna know whatz wrong with BET? They filter and cut up all their movies. Their all supposed to be Rated P-G SOO….. what the problem is?? and any Parent that allows their child to watch any TV show or just plain ol’e Television for four hours straight, something’s wrong with that parent. Or, They locking them kids in the room for 4 hrs so they can Hit the Club!!! LBVVS

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