Hollywood Heartthrob Michael Ealy Explains Why He Was Secretly Married

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By Carolyn Hall

Well ladies, bad news for us: If you haven’t guessed from the headlines one of our favorite African-American heartthrobs is off the market. Not that we would have ever met him in real life, but it sure was nice thinking we had a chance.

While out promoting his new film, in which he stars with funny man Kevin Hart, he talked to Rolling Out Magazine about his 2012 nuptials to Khatira Rafiqzada.

When asked by Rolling Out why he had been so hush-hush about his marriage to long- time girlfriend, the star says,

Well, you know me, and you know that I am an extremely private person. But what I can say is that I’m not a young cat anymore. I’ve gone through my share of relationships, which ironically enough, I think have contributed to the work that I’ve done in some of these relationship films

He goes on to say:

Don’t get me wrong; marriage opens up an entirely different can of worms as it pertains to your evolution as a man. I’ve found that for me, the timing of it was right … But when you find someone — and that’s something that is very hard to do … but when you find someone that you actually want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to go for it. I was just very lucky that the stars lined up for me.”

Well, Ealy is right. There should be some things that are private in our lives, such as ‘love.” But, what perturbs me in all of this is his choice. I’m really trying to figure out if “brothers have an untalked about segment in their contracts that states they “must marry or have children with a woman outside of their race.
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Far be it from me, or anyone else for that matter, to knock who people fall in love with. However, there seems to be a disturbing trend where Black men with money or status (i.e. actors, athletes, entertainers) are marrying outside of their race. This is not new, but seems to be growing. In fact, statistics suggest that 1 out of 2 Black men who make over 100k a year marry outside their race. While we know that stats are not one hundred percent accurate, we are constantly bombarded with images of Black men with either a white woman or an “exotic other.” To add insult to injury, you have Black hip-hop artists who make countless songs about how they love and adore “white girls.” Kanye West went so far that he said his “exotic other” queen was “the most beautiful woman to have ever lived.”

I encourage every brother, who seems to romanticize this “white ideal”, to think about “what message are you sending your daughters about their expectation of love and their own beauty?