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Wrong? Real Housewives Husband Was Going to Leave Because She Couldn’t Have Sexx with Him

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Cynthia Bailey from the show “Real Housewives of Atlanta,” says that the last two years of her marriage were extremely difficult.  She had some health problems involving fibroids, and it has caused problems in her marriage.  As you might know, it’s difficult to make love when you are in this condition, and this caused a rift with her husband.

The tumors were non-cancerous, which means that her life was not in danger.   But she did gain 20 pounds and found that her husband, Peter Thomas, was on his last legs when it came to their marriage.  According to an interview Bailey did with Life & Style Magazine, had she not gotten fibroid surgery, her husband would have gone someplace else.

“We’d be divorced for sure,” Cynthia said.

Peter isn’t holding back, stating that his needs did matter in the relationship.  Part of the expectation of marriage is providing physical affection, and since the issue could be corrected with surgery, he expected his wife to take the necessary steps to make their marriage work.

“I know we would have been done,” he said to Life & Style. “There is absolutely no way we could have survived another year if things hadn’t changed.”

The couple says that Cynthia’s sex drive was effectively dead. She felt bloated all the time and it hurt for her to sleep with her husband.  She says that they would go months without sleeping together, and this upset her husband a great deal.   He even says that he was going to head to Venezuela to find a woman on the side to fulfill his physical needs.

“Me and my buddies were planning a trip to Venezuela because nobody knows us there,” he said.

Cynthia says that, now that she has gotten the necessary surgery, their marriage is back on track and things are going well again.

Does this story make you think of her husband as a bad person or a man who is simply honest about his needs?  If she could get surgery to reignite their sex life, does she owe that to her husband or should he just grin and bear it?

159 Comments

  1. Read and think !

    December 19, 2013 at 12:31 pm

    It’s so easy to walk away when things go bad but, when you LOVE a person you pray, talk and work it out. Love someone.

  2. Kiesha makins

    December 19, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    WOW REALLY PETER..

    • Bernard

      December 23, 2013 at 7:41 am

      Hell yea really…are you seriously suggesting he should just deal with that when there is surgery available? Women kill me with this. She obviously married him for other reasons as he is a bit much older. He’s probably got some money. Now…lets put the shoe on the other foot. Lets say he decided they were going to move to the slums just because he wanted to. He had the money to live the way they are living. How long do you think she would say knowing the situation could be better. I commend him for being an honest man. I’ll tell you what I told my own wife when she started complaining about me wanting sex all the time…even after 15 years at the time. I told her you don’t have a problem now that I’m wanting to make love. You will have a problem when the day comes and I come in for months at a time and not say anything to you at all about sex. That clearly means for you naïve women…that the man is getting it some place else.

  3. Nato2

    December 19, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Women, you are ridiculing this guy. But, I wonder if that man had a similar problem and he could not perform would you be as dismissive of her. My experience after listening to many women-friends is to blame her problems on him. Many of you must understand that just because you ‘may’ look good with make-up and false-hair, there is a backstory for everyone. I have cheated with many women when I was a young man, married and unmarried, and each would tell me a story of ‘What is wrong with him’, but when we finished, they always went back to him. All of their problems was a because of him, not theirs. I married eventually, and yes, many of the problems that women get by having sex with so many men before Mr. Wright comes along, carry into the marriage. Mr. Wright pays for all the sins of the previous men, because women have all kinds of ‘female problems’. Some may be inherited, some unfortunate and others come from your frolics in an earlier life. He has to put up with that. So, my statement is stop being so judgmental when men are critical of their mate. We love our women, but too many of you are exploring with your bodies, selling it, giving it away to anyone for a complement. Mr. Wright will eventually have to deal with what’s left.

  4. Julia Ward

    December 19, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Men, you are not out of the situation as well! You are in relationships as a young man. You don’t care for yourself because you thought that you were invincible. Time passes. Years go on. You may decide to marry after many years. Then you find out that your other friend does not work. Well. There are woman who would leave you or have a situation on the side. You wonder what happened.You have also created the same situation that almost happened to them. But! A males condition to remedy is not as simple. Impotence is 40-70 % non reversible . Surgery may be the only cure. So Mrs. Right is paying for the sins of the man. We know that “The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world”. Males problems are not usually inherited. They develop Diabetes, Hypertension, PVD, elevated cholesterol. We did not cause that. You want a Caucasian vision of a Black Woman. That makes you feel that you have achieved perfection. We have been put here to be the protector of our race. We continue to be the caretakers of such. Maybe you need be supporters and not detractors. We love you, but there are times when we need you to step up and be men. Put away your childish ways. Pray for her! She has been doing that longer than you know for you. You are the head and not the tail! Be men and we won’t be caught up in this situation! Love you still!

    • Nato2

      December 19, 2013 at 7:17 pm

      Julia, I read you well and agree with all of your sentiments. We love our black women, but be women and not whores. Yes, we are thankful for having you bring us over and you did well. But, you must admit the quality of women today leave a lot to be desired. I work with a lot of young people, men and women. And, in my discussion with young men, they let me know they have a mistrust of women, because nowadays, they ask for a genuine date, and the retort from the young lady is: I know what you want, so pay me up front and save the money you will pay for dinner. And, no white women is not a perfection of you, it is the other way around. You are the perfection of her. Believe me.

  5. Ann G.

    December 19, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    Since I have had fibroids, why did she put up with the pain and bleeding for two years? I had mine taken care of after my doctor and I tried several different approaches and decided surgery was my last leg. I never felt better! Yes marriage is for better or worse but you start wondering about the “worse” case when you can take care of it, so although I am a woman, I do understand where her husband was coming from.

    • DUBIII

      December 19, 2013 at 6:19 pm

      Amen sister!

  6. Ritchie M.

    December 19, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    No one can realistically determine, what is the best course of action in the marriage between the couple, except for them. I see many comments ascribing different viewpoints on fidelity and commitment in marriage. Sociologist and marriage relationship experts will tell you, it is up to the individual couple to define their marriage. Indeed, some women will view Peter’s admissions in terms of questioning his commitment to the marriage. He expresses what many men may feel under the same circumstances. I understand his position. I was married to a woman that had health issues, which prevented physical intimacy, sometimes for months at a time. But I believe in the marriage vows; therefore, I came to terms with my personal feelings in the relationship. However, questioning your position is a normal reaction in the relationship. I can proudly say that through many challenges of a 28 year marriage, until her eventual death, I remained faithful to my commitment. It is now on this side that I see a lack of commitment by both men and women in marriage. As soon, as real work is required to make the union continue, people give up.

  7. kay

    December 19, 2013 at 4:19 pm

    It was due to an illness, so that is definitely an exception to the rule! But since he’s taken that standance he better make sure he stays up to par because the tables can turn then we’ll he if he understands if she acts that way! Besides as she is great looking for her age and financially set, I wonder who would taken him in if he is has no D or $!

  8. Candice

    December 19, 2013 at 8:00 pm

    Why is everything always reduced to sex or something of a sexual nature? Isn’t marriage, or any intimate relationship, about a mutual respect? When is there reciprocity of a more spiritual covenant toward the other person? Is it too much to ask, from the one who loves you, to just stand, believe and trust? Commitment is the key to the covenant, as the husband is supposed to love his wife, as if he’s loving himself. Would you abandon yourself? So, man, don’t abandon ship when the waters get rocky.

  9. J. D. Hill

    December 19, 2013 at 8:52 pm

    What if, because of a disability, he had become impotent for the rest of his life?

    “. . . for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, ’til death do us part” OR until I need to do something (or someone) else?

  10. ericaf

    December 19, 2013 at 9:00 pm

    He is at leave 60 to me. So I’m wondering how long is it before he is staying at 6:30, is she going to be allowed to go elsewhere? He is a total fool . God gave him hands.

  11. Cavisha

    December 20, 2013 at 6:07 am

    I see he didn’t take his marriage vows literally/to heart. It looks like Cynthia’s mom and sister were right about him-he’s no good! Shame on you Peter! Karma is a b*tch! Your stuff could go limp one day PERMANENTLY! Should she go to Venezuela then?! Smh

  12. Lil Mama

    December 20, 2013 at 5:58 pm

    Just because he’s telling his truth doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be blasted for feeling this way. What a selfish, arrogant, piece of s**t he is. Having an orgasm is more important than his wife’s health. She’d be better off without him. First he was draining her bank account, now bc he can’t get some when HE wants it, he threatens to leave. A woman needs security knowing that her man will be there through thick and thin, not just when times are good. Cynthia’s a good one because his sh*t would be sitting out on the curb.

    • Bernard

      December 23, 2013 at 8:59 am

      Nah…this is clearly not the case. This is what happens when a man tries to be forthcoming…which is why you have so many men that would just assume go out and get another woman to take care of his needs(God knows there are enough of them out there) then deal with the attitudes I’m reading here. So let me get this right. One of the very basic things a woman should do is take care of the man sexually and he is her…provided there are no health issues. Now there is apparently a health issue but one that can be taken care of through surgery. One thing I haven’t heard any woman address here is this. Why not just do what you have to do to get it corrected and she and he will be better as they seem to have done? why do you have to wait two damn years and him basically giving you an choice? Why does it have to come to a show down? That’s something she should have seen coming a mile away. You don’t damn wait two years to get that resolved. If this was something that couldn’t be corrected I’d say suck It up, but it can. I wouldn’t have waited that long. That’s ridiculous. That’s like having cancer and knowing it and waiting two years to do anything about it. While you all are blasting him, I’d like for one of you to tell me what made it okay for her to wait two years to take care of this. She herself has admitted that things are better with her physically and sexually with her husband. Even after that you all are still blasting him for saying what many men already adhere to. I want to hear the rationale behind this. My own wife tried to explain as we actually watched an episode and it happen to be while these two were at the doctor about this(we never watch this or any house wives show). I want to hear what other women have to say is the justification of her waiting this long while neglecting her own vows.

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