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If a Woman Gets Drunk, Does She Have Any Accountability for What She Does Sexually?

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Maria Lloyd, a well-known blogger for Your Black World, made a comment on Facebook about “drunken sεx” and whether or not this should play a part in how interactions between men and women are interpreted by the authorities.  Many of us know the scenario:  A man and woman get drunk and sεx occurs.  The woman says that she was rαped, and the man denies it.   Both were intoxicated, so the incident might be blurry to the both of them. 

Most of us agree that no one deserves to be rαped, no matter how much they had to drink.  But if a woman is not responsible for things she said or did while under the influence, can the man be held responsible?  That’s the subject of debate.

Here is what Lloyd said: 

I have read/written so many cases about women who had a drunken night on the town and wake up screaming rαpe the next day. It goes without saying that no one “deserves” to be taken advantage of while inebriated… But at what point do we hold adults accountable for their own poor decisions? Is it not possible that during your drunken night you actually gave consent and forgot the next morning? I’ve heard plenty of women brag about how good “drunk sεx” is… So, who’s to say these women weren’t in pursuit of drunk sεx and woke up blaming someone else for their risky behavior? Has anyone thought about why these women always seem to be alone when these situations occur? Where were their friends? Do they have a track record of getting drunk and píssing off their friends? If so, that’ll explain why they’re alone… No one wants to babysit a grown αss woman. I reiterate that these poor decisions should not equate to rαpe; however, I’m finding it increasingly difficult to acknowledge these situations as rαpe. Know your limit or don’t drink at all… This goes for men and women.

595 Comments

  1. Alvin Pitts

    December 15, 2013 at 6:07 pm

    I think we can keep this simple. Hold people just as accountable
    As we do in a DUI situation. You are responsible. End of story.

  2. Devon

    December 16, 2013 at 1:11 am

    Maybe if women didn’t go out and get pissy pissy throwing back shots they woudnt end up in these situations. Women don’t want to accept ANY responsibility for their own safety. Girls night out is a thing of the past because I got sick of women throwing back shot after shot and expecting me to look after them because I can have a drink or two of alcohol and leave it alone. Hope nothing happens to them, but theyre on their own, not babysitting grown azz women anymore.

  3. Antonio

    December 16, 2013 at 3:18 am

    Everyone should be held accountable for their actions, however, the burden of proof usually falls on the man and heaven forbid if the man is black and the woman is white.

    In a scenario where the man starts to undress the woman and she says stop and he continues and finally she gives in, the next day or sometime later in the future she gets angry at him for some reason and cries RAPE! Is this really rape?? Even though she continued to say Stop!

  4. Christopher

    December 16, 2013 at 7:33 pm

    I do not understand why this should even be a question. Just as with doing something criminal, being drunk or inebriated in any manner does not inhibit the ability to commit these crimes so it should not inhibit the punishment or accountability behind the individual.
    This does not relate to forcibly taking advantage as that is a crime no matter the level of sobriety, however “buyer’s remorse” should not be a reason for one’s own decision to decrease one’s decision making ability and making a bad decision as a result. You make a decision and you have to live with it just as with any other individual. This is where the whole “feminist” argument goes south because if you want to be treated equal then the benefit of the doubt goes out the window in this particular situation.

  5. marcus davis

    December 28, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    Women should take responsibilty for their own conduct.Don’t get so blindly drunk that you end up in certain types of situations that you end up being compromised.No woman wants to get raped ,but some of them don’t do themselves any favours when they put themselves in those types of conditions because they’re too drunk to even know what they’re doing.

  6. Nato2

    December 28, 2013 at 1:19 pm

    I used to think that no woman wants to get raped, but after speaking to lots of women, they actually have a ‘rape fantasy’. Really. Getting drunk is one way to do it without the guilt during the process and if it is not a good as expected or the woman find it distasteful later, the law allows her an out. Now, women should be responsible for their behavior, just like men. During my younger years, I saw women who actually got drunk to have ‘drunk sex’ and many are just loose and can say I was taken advantage of. Yes, forcible rape is wrong, but the definition of force is blurred at best.

  7. sam jones

    December 28, 2013 at 6:15 pm

    Well this brings me back to the Mike Tyson situation and other athletes involved in sex scandals. If you are sitting in a room with Mike Tyson at 1:30 AM, please do not expect to the AUTOMATICALLY believe the woman was a victim. I have seen this situation all too often. The Florida State football star quarterback comes to mind. Any young lady drinking it up with a bunch of horny athletes will have a hard time trying to convince many of us that the sexual contact was not consensual. You will need more proof than just saying you told him no and resisted him. Yes, NO means NO. But when it is “He said, She said” situation…please do ask me to take sides. Too many of these cases sound like “buyers remorse.” You all knew what you were doing…so deal with it!

  8. Caryn G.

    January 3, 2014 at 5:12 pm

    a woman should act as such at ALL TIMES! if your going to drink, do it Responsibly there is Nothing more Horrific looking than a running drunk stinking lady. Alcohol is a bad man. it clearly slows your train of thought along with everythin else. so who’s to say, that these women are truly being Raped.

    Women get with guys, Drink like fish then (((scream))) Rape! when in reality they alway’s wanted to do it… they just needed an excuse. Not for one second!!! do i believe that a woman gets THAT DRUNK till she doesn’t remember who she voluntarily… had s** with Bullshiggity!! Blame it on the goose… Blame it on the *** Blame it on the Alcohol. Jamie made that song for a reason.

  9. John J

    January 8, 2014 at 3:25 pm

    But… If a drunken woman shouldn’t be helped liable for her decisions on sex, then why is a drunken man held liable for his when he had sex with her? Seems like a double standard to me.

    • Yolanda

      March 26, 2014 at 4:44 am

      MTE. Suppose the guy wakes up in the morning, sees dog ugly Shanaynay, and runs screaming out of the room. Can he press charges for rape? Can you imagine the look on the cops’ and judge’s faces when they hear that? They’d be rolling on the floor, wiping the tears from their eyes.

  10. Ree

    March 25, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    This is really irresponsible journalism. Rape is a real crime. The number of people who lie about rate is the same percentage of any other crime. There are many studies that show the devastation of rape. Men are raped as well. Men are most often raped by other men. Alcohol is used as a weapon in rape. It is not women drinking more than they can handle that is the problem, it is people who are deliberate in seeking them out for rape. Dr. Lisak has a study entitled the Undetected Rapist. Get the facts before you spread your opinion as the gospel.

  11. ericaf

    March 25, 2014 at 10:12 pm

    When you are going out, there should be a friend code, if someone gets drunk the others should protect her . If she is becoming a habitual drunk, stop hanging out with her because her behavior will put you in jeopardy. Know your friends and the environment before going out.

  12. mark english

    March 26, 2014 at 1:35 pm

    what are women accountable for???like children,handicap children they have special needs and allowances, how pathetic when claims of equality are concerned…they always are special when it comes to circumstances…

  13. bogart4017

    April 7, 2014 at 8:02 am

    Seems to me that Americans on the whole have a problem with personal accountibility. Accept responsibility for your own actions. It is that simple.

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