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Woman Writes Open Letter Telling Her Womanizing Pastor Father to “Go to H*ell”

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A young woman who has some issues with her dad, a prominent pastor, felt compelled to write a public letter to her father telling him to “go to hell.”  The letter, published on Chicago Now, got a lot of attention and shed light on the constant battles that can often occur between fathers and their daughters who sometimes don’t feel that they are doing enough.

Lashonda Matlock starts off by calling out her father, Pastor Bill Adkins, for being married and conceiving her out of wedlock.

There are times in life when you need to speak up, voice an opinion or just let it all out. This is one of those moments. I find myself at a crossroad, where the past and the present seem to meet and it is not a place I wish to be. Born in Memphis, Tennessee the illegitimate daughter of married pastor Bill Adkins, my life was nothing but controversy. I grew up in an upper middle class family that happened to be five blocks from my father’s church. He never visited, but I always knew he was there.

Lashonda says that her father didn’t want to communicate with her, and even sent a cease and desist letter to her mother telling the family not to communicate with them.   She also says that “By age ten, I was a figment of my own imagination. I didn’t exist, my last name was a lie and all records of me were buried in a black hole.”

The woman also went down the list of a bunch of other children that she met along the way from the same father, many of them illegitimate.    She says that her father’s irresponsible behavior was the subject of continuous speculation and attacks from people she didn’t even know.

She then spoke of meeting her step sister, who was also a product of the pastor’s affairs. She also was the same age, meaning that the pastor’s bedroom behavior was less than preacher-like.

My stepmother walked into the room holding the hand of my half-sister, Taihia Adkins. Taihia is the same age as me and knew nothing of my existence but at the same time she knew nothing of hers. She was also the daughter of an affair. An act covered up and made to look like an adoption, but that was not the truth. The adoption was due to Bill’s first wife, known lovingly as “Big Tai”, could  never have kids. I felt sadness looking into her eyes because we were in many ways the exact same.

She says that when she tried to reach out to her father to meet him at the age of 29, she was stopped by an armed bodyguard, who reached for his gun.  She says that the pastor barely acknowledged her, even though she yelled out her forgiveness.

As he began to exit the shop I realized my chance was almost gone and I had to do something quick. I started to run towards him, but his armed bodyguard saw me and reached for his gun. I slid to a halt and knew the only thing I could do was yell, so I did. “I forgive you,” I shouted. He nodded. That was my only acknowledgement I have ever received.

Lashonda goes on to admit that she’s bitter, and that her father is nothing more than a sad hypocrite to treat her in such a horrible way.  She mentions little about the mothers who agreed to sleep with the man who was creating so many children, for they too hold some accountability in her situation.  But she says that a man who sits in the pulpit, make a lot of babies out of wedlock and doesn’t acknowledge his mistakes is not worthy in the eyes of God or anyone else.

Am I bitter? Yes. A man of the cloth preaching to his flock how to live and walk the path of God yet having several children outside of marriage and never righting his wrongs is despicable to me. Living day after day full of lies and hiding your past for a manufactured image to appease your followers.  I wonder how does he even live with himself sometimes. But as he claims to walk the path of righteousness yet steadily head in the opposite direction. All I can do is let go and move. That is his road, not mine. I can no more make someone love me or be a father. That part of my life is gone. And I have grieved and suffered.

She ends her letter by telling her father to “Go to h*ell,” and then mentions that he is a pastor at the Greater Imani Chruch located in Memphis, TN.

 You can read the entire letter here.