Boris Kodjoe Says Gaining Weight in a Marriage is an Unacceptable Deal Breaker

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This one is sure to scare the ladies into putting away the chocolate cupcakes.  Sex symbol Boris Kodjoe surprised his fans by recently stating that he believes that gaining weight during a marriage is unacceptable.  During an interview in preparation for his new film, “Baggage Claim,” the actor says spoke with Cherise Nicole about what he can’t tolerate in a relationship.

“Ok part of the deal is, you got to keep it sexay.  Got to keep it Hot.  Because it’s easy getting married, but it’s not as easy to stay married.  And part of that is, like, I make my wife, my girlfriend.  She’s my girlfriend.  So, we got to keep it sexay. If we keep it sexay, we keep it right, everything else falls into place.

“What if I gained 200 pounds? And then she’ll look at me like, really? And I couldn’t even blame her if she started looking around.  Because I took her off the market, so I have to deliver what the market could possibly deliver for her.  So, I gotta take that place. Right? So, I gotta fulfill those things that the market could’ve given her.  I’m the market now, so I got to keep it Hot and she has to do the same for me.”

This might make a lot of people upset.  But Brande Victorian at Madamenoire.com seems to think that Kodjoe is flat out wrong by making this sort of remark.  She asks:

What if your spouse was to develop a degenerative disease or be physically scarred in a car accident, would you leave then to find something better in the market? Most times when a person gains serious weight, there are serious reasons behind it and if a man isn’t willing to stick by his woman and help her work through those issues, he probably didn’t need to get married in the first place.

Maybe that’s the problem, he shouldn’t get married, since so many women want him anyway.  Putting degenerative disease and tragic car accidents to the side, most people just gain weight because they’re lazy.  So, does that mean that it’s OK to take your mate for granted, assuming that because you’ve nailed the person down, you get to keep them forever?  Maybe that’s a little naive.

Always remember that if you don’t do your job at home, someone else might be out there applying for the job without you even knowing it.


  1. freda

    September 13, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    i totally agree with Boris,i am a constant at stayn fit and in shape for better or worse and like Boris my spouse motivates me to stay fit and does himself.,it discusses me to see so many african american females that are overweight and out of shape whether married or not.Ladies what mirror are you looking at.

  2. SiBelle

    September 13, 2013 at 10:41 pm

    I agree with him. The same way you get your mate should be the same way you keep them. If you’re gaining weight due to a illness, that’s different. I’m sure Boris would feel different than what he’s claiming now if that would be the case. But if you’re gaining weight because you just lazy… Get it together! Keep your man eyes on you!

  3. Akilah Wali

    September 14, 2013 at 10:14 am

    I married my husband 15 years ago and 5 children later I am heavier than I was when we first got married but I’m still sexay! He can go shopping in the market if he wants to but I can go shopping too!

  4. Ann G.

    September 14, 2013 at 12:29 pm

    If staying slim is the only thing that makes you sexy then you truly don’t have a lot going on in your marriage but looks. There are many ways to being sexy such as conversation, there is nothing worse than having a nice looking, slim & sexy woman that is too stupid to hold an educational conversation.

    • Kathy

      September 15, 2013 at 7:01 am

      Ann G., you are a wise woman.

  5. Kim

    September 14, 2013 at 1:48 pm

    Dang!I used 2 really adore him but he is shallow…that is like saying oh god!U lost your hair and is going bald!now I godda move on for I am just not into you any more…

  6. tiamette

    September 14, 2013 at 4:09 pm

    Would not want to be married to someone so superficial. Hopefully he will grow up and understand what real love is about. Beauty is only skin deep.

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 8:12 pm

      um yeah right….thats why black women spend the majority of their time nitpicking about so called imperfections of the most gorgeous black women in entertainment…lets start with Jennifer Hudson, yall loved her when she was fat, now all yall do is complain about how “she too skinny she need to gain somma tha weight back” or how she “got a bobble head” or how yall hate her Weight Watchers commercials. The woman is on a mission to help people lose weight but you dont see the valur in that. Now lets talk about the adorable and TINY Kerry Washington. Heres another black woman who is gorgeous and thin, and talented but all yall can say is “she need to eat a sandwich”. Lets not forget monique who lost 82 pounds and looks faboo but you ladies say” she looked better big (a lie). So miss me with the shallow criticisms about Boris…no group is more shallow than black women towards other black women. Please *waving my hand @ yall*

  7. Butch

    September 14, 2013 at 4:12 pm

    To each their own! My question for him is this: What kind of role model r u for ur children?

    • Nicole Holt

      September 17, 2013 at 5:22 pm


    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 7:57 pm

      He’s a perfect role model for his kids and his wife is as well. They are into health and physical fitness. Bet their kids wont be eating Doritos, Cheetos, drinking soda and sugar water. BTW black people need to know what the soda companies arent telling you, that soda is the biggest contributor to kidney malfunction, one of the biggest contributors to diabetes, and one of the biggest contributors to obesity. Also kidney problems and diabetes are two of the biggest contributors to black people being turned down for life insurance…and obesity is the reason why black peoples are offered life insurance @ astronomical premiums…and are frequently denied coverage. Dont hate on this man because he has high expectations on fitness from himself and his wife….and apparently she feels the same way about him and herself. Theyre the most beautiful black couple in Hollywood and there aint a dam thing wro g with that. And I doubt anyone who lives a similar fitness/health lifestyle isnt complaining about his comments….Im not!

  8. Amazing Grace

    September 14, 2013 at 5:06 pm

    He’s an idiot and conceded too. Blah. 😉 🙁

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 7:45 pm

      He might be CONCEITED, but he’s fine as hell and his wife is gorgeous!! Fine ass men who work their asses off to remai fine deserve gorgeous women wh work their asses off to sfay gorgeous! With all that said, Im sure each possesses beautiful inner qualities that the other loves and admires.

  9. Angela Scully

    September 14, 2013 at 6:11 pm

    Lots of men feel this way. He was honest about it. I respect a man that expects his woman to be at her best rather than the jealous types who get mad cause she looks good. Those types tear a woman down, then talk about her, and then cheat.

  10. Dalan Right

    September 14, 2013 at 6:41 pm

    He wasn’t talking about extenuating circumstances.
    He was talking on the real, every day, as it is right now.

    Back up!
    Boris is one of the few stand up black men
    Don’t tear him down over some contextual BS.
    We bigger and better than that!


    September 14, 2013 at 7:41 pm

    Boris is the SUPERFICIAL! He needs to rent Shadow Hal. Beauty fades dumb is FOREVER! Boris, is DUMB. My heart goes out to Nicole.

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 8:49 pm

      LOL Im sure the lovely and thin Nicole is doing just fine with that gorgeous hunk of man, she doesnt need your heart going out to her, you should worry about your own heart as i suspect youre overweight or obese, not one person I know who is in shape disagreed with Boris.

  12. The TRUTH

    September 14, 2013 at 10:00 pm

    No, he’s not superficial, he’s real. Your fat a s s can’t sit around doing nothing and eating “whatever” and not expect there to be consequences. Besides, being overweight and lazy is unhealthy, and unhealthy people end up being burdens to those that love them (and mourn them when they pass away early).

    Obesity is a major problem in our community. Don’t embrace it and accept it as being okay and as being par for the course. It isn’t.

    • charyl b

      September 15, 2013 at 8:45 am

      That’s Bs Truth. I’m heavy an far from lazy or unhealthy I work 2 full time job, active and a clean bill of health so stop judging and stereotyping us heavy folks. That’s just like saying all black ppl are dumb drug dealers.. ijs..

      • Barry N. Duncan Jr.

        September 17, 2013 at 1:49 pm

        Clean bill of health my ass.

      • Devon

        September 19, 2013 at 9:09 pm

        You are aware that obesity has been classified as a disease by the american medical association. You are not the picture of health and please dont tel me your doctor told you that because I wont believe you. No doctor worth salt and credentials would tell an obese person theyre the picture of health. Most men dont want obese women and most women dont want obese men. It is what it is.

  13. heather brady

    September 15, 2013 at 8:38 am

    You can not blame diabetes for being overweight the doctors tell you to lose weight for health issues. There is really no reason to just not be active unless you are paralyzed not even babies

  14. Jon

    September 15, 2013 at 9:30 am

    Funny how most of the overweight females feelin some type of way haha. Dude was keepin it 100. And he never once said the type of body one “should” be but what it “shouldn’t” be. It’s funny how people think the total opposite of weight gain is being skinny. He is just saying to be in shape. If Boris wasn’t in the physical condition he is now, many of the females who was sayin he is hot wouldn’t look at him that way and would act the same way he talked about.

    And with the whole disease thing. While I know some suffer from ailments that cause weight gain, I doubt it’s most. If so why do many have the type of diet they do? McDonald’s this, diet soda that etc? Some might bring up diabetes. That’s BS. If anything having that condition somewhat forces you to eat better and occasional exercise would be of great benefit to you. Stop the excuses.

    Bottom line, if a guy or girl gets with you in the physical condition you’re in from the beginning, be honest, you want them to stay that way for as long as possible. Yes, with time there can be a little bit of weight gain but a lot of people let themself go especially after marriage. Can we keep it real please?

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 8:19 pm

      Jon you best believe the women on this forum complaining about Boris comments are overweight or obese. Fit people are agreeing with him.

  15. t_99

    September 16, 2013 at 10:52 am

    I have no problem with what Boris said. You have to know what is important to your mate, and make that a priority. For him, he is physically fit, so it’s no surprise that physical fitness is important to him. It fits his definition of sexy (and apparently, Nicole’s too). It seems like he and Nicole are on the same page with regard to fitness, so that’s good. That works for them. For other couples, weight gain/loss may not be a deal breaker. Lastly, he wasn’t talking about sickness or something drastic like that. He gave the example of gaining 200 pounds.

  16. Jackie

    September 16, 2013 at 12:20 pm

    Reasons for weight gain run deep,and having children is not one of them. Having been on both sides of the coin, I have learned that what and how much of something you put in your mouth is a major factor. I agree with Boris only if this is a family contract, We have to be aware of both our health and what it does to our relationships. Keeping it sexy is just the bonus, keeping you from having a stroke, diabetes or heart attack is the primary goal. Really there is only so much a spanx can suck up. Its a family affair Boris is right

  17. KMack

    September 16, 2013 at 2:40 pm

    If you have no physical limitations, and no illness and you are otherwise healthy….keep it tight….. I had 2 babies back to back my hubby of 23 years loved me through the extra 80 lbs and never said a word. I’m grateful for that but I didn’t like me so I worked hard and dropped the weight. Women don’t hate, yes Mr. Kodjoe and those like him are superfacial and deserve the type of woman they seek out.

    • Jackie

      September 16, 2013 at 3:02 pm

      KMack, You are very honest about your weight gain,and transition back to you. Congrats!!!! WOmen need to realize that Naturally big women don’t have rolls all over the place.fat women however do and you can’t be happy with that period. Boris is not superficial. As we all can see, he ain’t sitting around eating Cheetos, chips, cheese and Big Mac’s all while washing it do with blue sugar water, therwise he would be a big blob. Boris is right.

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 8:37 pm

      Congrats on your weight loss!

  18. JAB

    September 16, 2013 at 5:08 pm

    That’s fine as long as he’s prepared for her to walk if his income ever diminishes.

  19. JAB

    September 16, 2013 at 5:09 pm

    Is it OK for her to walk if he ever becomes lazy in bed or neglects foreplay?

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 9:02 pm

      Are you obese?

  20. Spliff B

    September 17, 2013 at 9:01 am

    So after lifting all them dumbells and keeping in shape…What does Boris think when the middle weight slack? Weights can’t fix that! As long as she can make it do what it do- It is what it is. Sexy never just been skinny. Okay he look 20. That doesn’t mean that stressed out heart of his look 20! I’m done ~~~

    • Devon

      September 19, 2013 at 8:59 pm

      If by middle weight you mean weight gain in ones core or midsection, that doesnt have to happen. The core can be kept flat and tight its a combination of diet and exercise specially designed for the entire core. Im a member of one of the best fitness centers in NY. We have members who’ve been fitness buffs for decades, men and women in their 60s whose core is strong and theyre more physically fit than most people half their age.

  21. JIde Oduyoye

    September 17, 2013 at 9:05 am

    I think Boris K is speaking from a perspective that he understands and values. Some of the anti Kodjoe’s comments here smacks of unnecessary defense mechanism. He never said being bodily or big boned with flesh was bad, but more about making an effort to keep your marriage spicy and one of the ways amongst many others is not to allow your pre marriage shape lose value from the eyes of the beholder. Its more of an encouragement statement than dissing the out of shape marmalades. So lets chill.

  22. Devon

    September 17, 2013 at 1:59 pm

    I agree with Boris. When my man and I met each other we were in good physical condition because we worked out. Its a year into the relationship. We havent slacked off working out and eating healthy. In fact we put forth more effort in our workouts so we can keep looking good for ourselves and for each other. Fat or obese is a deal breaker for both of us. We know that and continue to take care of ourselves.

    • bogart4017

      October 22, 2013 at 10:55 am

      Yeah—check back with us after a few years of marriage and childbirth.

  23. Devon

    September 17, 2013 at 2:15 pm

    @ Ann G…..you must be fat or not in the best shape. Boris didnt say that staying fit was the only important thing in his marriage…but it is important and a requirement. Physical attractiveness is as important in a marriage or relationship as compatability, emotional intimacy, love, trust and sex. I expect my man to keep doing what he was doing BEFORE he met me….working out regularly and eating healthy…and he expects the SAME from me. Too many people particularly women, get too comfortable in a relationship and let themselves go…they develop that “he love me he aint going nowhere” mentality…not understanding that her on point body was what first attracted him to her. If a man and woman come together with the “complete package” they both need to work to keep it that way. I dont see the problem with this. I’m gonna STAY on point and my man will do the same…because we love and value each other.

  24. Olddeac

    September 17, 2013 at 7:07 pm

    How is that ALL people/couples can be placed into one basket, lumped together and spread out into one singular vision of one (young man)?
    Is it so that, if you don’t loose the weight then you’ll loose the love?
    Maybe losing “that” love may not be such a bad idea.

  25. tasha

    September 24, 2013 at 11:38 pm

    I think that everyone needs to respect what their mate thinks of their appearance. It’s like if your man get real fat and has a beer belly , and another man comes along fit, fine looking good ur eyes will wonder to him don’t lie! However after my child I gained alot of weight I would want my spouse to love me fat big or small skinny . Would I love my shelf enough if I just stayed fat nope !

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