Verbal/Physical Abuse From Parents = Violent Relationship In Adulthood

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The next time you want to explicitly communicate with your child about something they have or have not done, you may want to be aware of the fact that the verbal and/or physical abuse you enforce on your child today will create a violent relationship for them decades later. According to research conducted by Brenda Lohman, an associate professor of human development and family studies at Iowa State University, psychological violence from a parent has a greater impact on the child’s teenage relationships than witnessing violence between two adults in the home.

It is true that if you grow up in a violent household you have a higher likelihood of being in a violent relationship,” Lohman says. “If the parent is more aggressive toward the child, the child is more likely to be in relationships where they’re being victimized or perpetrating violence against their partner a few years or even a decade later.”  The study is one of the first to examine patterns of violence over three decades to see how children exposed to psychological violence and family stress were affected in relationships later in life. It’s also part of a special series of articles discussing teen dating violence that are guest edited by Lohman for the April issue of the Journal of Youth and Adolescence.

For whatever reason, the family stress that you experienced in early adolescence is having some kind of a lasting effect on your role as you settle into adulthood,” Tricia Neppl, coauthor and an assistant professor in human development and family studies says. “And more so than emerging adulthood, or your early 20s, when you’re still trying to figure out what those roles are, you’re young and you may or may not have children yet.” One way to combat this issue is to level family stress. “Working with families who are under particular amounts of stress, whether it is economic or emotional distress, it’s working with those families to help lower their stress loads,” Neppl says. “We also want to help teach them how to be better parents and focus more on prevention services.”

The findings from this study would indicate that the father who violently whooped his teenage daughters on camera for twerking is in error.

Do you believe the father who whooped and verbally abused his daughters for twerking is in error?


  1. sann

    April 10, 2013 at 5:23 pm

    I think there is some truth to the article. It is really disturbing to witness adults using vulgar profanity at a child, and then they wonder why the child acts out in school. Children will repeat what they see and hear. Those are learned behaviors whether from adults at home or viewing such from the tube. On the other hand, children do need to be appropriately disciplined for misbehavior.

  2. Carl

    April 10, 2013 at 7:28 pm

    I am just amazed to see just one response prior to mine. Being raised in an Unhealthy environments produces unhealthy Adults. “It’s hard to out perform what you learn to be true”. This verbal/physical abuse is so generational and it’s being passed on and on, and on. I see it all the and time and the sad commentary is that the parents are so out of control that they go off in public. I recently saw a woman just tear into her son, he appeared to be around 10 y.o. and he was just cowering. I said just wait until he gets to around 14 or 15 and makes the decision that he is not going to take it anymore. This were a lot of these kids anger comes from. The anger becomes displaced and schoolmates and other innocents suffer their anger.

    There is phenomenon called “The Master Sentiment of Self-regard, meaning that next to food, clothing, and shelter “Self- esteem is most important to us.

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