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Jada Pinkett Smith Clarifies Her Open Marriage Comments: “Do we believe loving someone means owning them?”

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jadaBy Nomalanga Mhlauli-Moses

I have to admit that I have always been intrigued by Will and Jada Smith’s relationship and marriage. I know first hand that making marriage work is not always easy and I can only imagine how challenging it becomes when it is in the glare of Hollywood fame.

Rumors have been swirling for a very long time about the Hollywood power couple being in an open marriage and recently the rumors were fueled by comments that Mrs. Smith made in an interview. Among other things, the mother of two said, “Will can do whatever he wants” and because there was always a question mark hanging over the couple about whether or not their marriage was an open marriage, that seemed to just re-ignite the rumor flames.

The flames became such a wild fire that now Jada has decided that she needs to clarify what she was saying by making a statement on Facebook.  Although, please be warned, her “clarification” really does not answer the still looming question of whether or not her and her husband are in an open marriage. Her comments are below.

Open marriage?

Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.

The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.

Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?

Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???

Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.

Siempre,

J

Nomalanga helps Black women in their lives and careers. She is a Social Commentator, an Editor at Your Black World , Assistant Professor of Professional Studies and the reigning Mrs Botswana. Visit Nomalanga’s Facebook page or Follow her on Twitter

194 Comments

  1. Mahogany

    April 15, 2013 at 11:41 am

    After reading this article, actually, I think Jada did answer the question regarding whether or not she and Will have an open marriage. Her last statement (“This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.”) suggests that she and Will have a mature relationship based on trust, love, and honesty. I interpret Jada to say she and Will have chosen each other because of their values, standards, and beliefs and because of that they trust each other to be faithful and true. When she says Will can do whatever he wants, she is saying she has no control over what his actions are, however, she trusts him to do what’s right for their relationship and family. Her statement “Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???” clearly implies that should not be in a relationship with someone who you cannot trust to live up to his/her own values, etc. that he/she has placed upon himself/herself, let alone trust that person to do so in a relationship. She would not have married Will if she believed he couldn’t/wouldn’t.

  2. justice

    April 15, 2013 at 11:59 am

    Love,Trust, and Integrity are the three most important ingredients in a marriage. Perhaps this is why Will and Jada’s marriage has lasted so long in hollywood. If you have a spouse that you cannot TRUST; especially in their field, then they like so many other hollywood stars would be divorced. A spouse’s moral integrity determines if the individual is loyal to his or her family or lacks integrity and is selfish and finds comfort in the guiles of the world. I commend Will and Jada on their marriage. They both appear to be loyal dedicated husband and wife who are hardworking parents that realize family is most important in their lives.

  3. B.vau

    April 15, 2013 at 6:00 pm

    Why is jada even talking about she and Will’s marriage????? Who gives a shit, she’s not even irrevelant ugh!

  4. B.vau

    April 15, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Oops! I meant she’s irrevelant

  5. j/k

    April 15, 2013 at 6:32 pm

    Here’s the thing. Instead of writing that wall of text she could have simply said “No, we don’t have an open relationship.” She didn’t because she does.

  6. Latrice

    April 15, 2013 at 9:21 pm

    Why does she keep talking about it? Just say none of your business or stay out of my private life…she keeps talking about it so people are going to continue talking about it

  7. jacqueline bass

    April 16, 2013 at 3:58 am

    I personally think they r both gay….& making a mockery of gay & straight marriages,By living this lie! I just believe 4 true happiness u must b true 2 yoself…Just think how much they would n power the gay community,BUT in particular the black gay community who I believe are judged much more harshly.

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