black women

Erika Morant: Always a Bridesmaid….

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Great, you have made the “cut”! You were asked to be a bridesmaid. Lucky you!  Now, you must immediately jump into action. After all being a bridesmaid is an honor, of which many were not selected. You should be grateful; the bride saw something special in you. Blah, blah, blah.

Okay bridesmaids, some brides may actually lead you to believe the last three lines that I wrote, be careful.  Some bridesmaids, after being selected may think, “What is expected of me?” Well, I am here to give you a few tips on how to prepare for your impending duties (notice I use duties—-not obligations).

Tip 1- Have a conversation with the bride to gain a clear understanding of the following:

  • Her wedding date and location.
  • Her wedding planning timeline.
  • Her expectation of both your and the other bridesmaid’s (if applicable) time commitment.
  • Financial commitment- Are you responsible for the purchase of your dress, shoes, accessories, etc.?

Tip 2- Let the bride know your schedule and or availability, up front, inclusive of:

  • Work schedule.
  • Family commitments.

Tip 3- Have a conversation with the other bridesmaids.

  • Divide and conquer the bridesmaid duties.
  • Determine who will lead the planning of the bridal shower and or bachelorette party.

Tip 4- Stand your ground.

  • It is okay to say “No.” or “Sorry, I cannot.”—-you’re supposed to be of support, not a slave.
  • Do not fall for guilt trips or comparisons to other bridesmaids.

Tip 5- Do not let it jeopardize your friendship and or relationship.

  • Recognize and politely vocalize when the duties and expectations are getting out of hand— after all the wedding is just a day, but your friendship and or relationship should last a lifetime.


Erika Morant is a Washington, DC area based Event Planner. Tell us about you, Click Here.