San Diego Reader Magazine Headline: “No One Likes Black Girls”
A cover by the San Diego Reader Magazine got the attention of one of our readers who sent us a note in outrage. On the cover, there is a statement about how everyone seems to be attracted to black men, but no one is attracted to black women. The headline reads as follows:
“The white girls like black guys, and Mexican girls like black guys, and the Filipino girls like the black guys. And the black guys like them too. But no one likes black girls.”
We are not sure what to think about this cover. On one hand, it seems that they might be concerned that African American women don’t get the same appreciation as black men. Black women are as beautiful as any group of women on the planet. On the other hand, the title may be fulfilling a nasty stereotype that further erodes the collective self-esteem of African American women.
What do you think?
First of all, they are ignorant. Secondly, black men date and marry black women more than any other race.
This is whats know as a dog whistle! to only be understood by the target audience. Just the setup that leads into the story shows how they are trying to get the warning out black men are coming for your women! Everyone knows how the world covets black women and rightfully so!
This is playing into racial stereotypes of African American and it is separatist thinking. First, it is creating the fear the Black Man is coming after your woman and then It is creating the impressionism Black Women are not loved. As an Black Man let me say it once and for all. We love Black Women non-judgmentally and unconditionally.
I agree Marzette!! I love that there are Real Black Men loving Real Black Women unconditionally and non-judgmentally!!! Unfortunately this is not a universal practice.
I LOVE MY BLACK WOMEN….YOU CAN KEEP THE REST…
Maybe the writer is basing this on the numbers of black men who date and marry interracially. Black women don’t date or marry non blacks as frequent as black men but men of other races do find black women attractive : Gabrielle Union, Beyonce, Kerry Washington and Sanaa Lathan are black women that are considered beautiful by all men.
right on! just cause they want her doesnt mean she wants them
The reason why things like this continue to happen is because Black Men don’t take up for their women. They usually agree with this BS by participating in this mess by running around with these other women. But regardless of if Black Men are liked and/or in relationships with these other women, when BM allow their women to be disrespected, then those other races or ethnic groups lack respect for Black men as well. Other people will never look at Black ppl as equal if BM are constantly placing other women on a pedestal, especially women who have no vested interest in the upliftment of our community.
Exactly.
Totally agree!
I respect your opinion however, considering sooo many black women have decided to publicly announce their decision to only date and marry non black men, why on earth should black men protect black women. As a result of this public announcement, black men have decided to reject black women. The reality is- most black men no longer expect the support, assistance, help or love from a black women. And don’t get it twisted; when I mentioned support, assistance and help, I’m speaking in terms of emotional and spiritual support, not financial support. The friction/hatred between BM and BW is so turbulent right now they should take a twenty year break from each other, maybe then we’ll come to appreciate each other again.
That’s part of the problem. We’ve been taking a break from each other long enough already! Time to come together…..
Well, first sir you said black women “publicly” announce…How many black women have the platform to announce that they will only date/marry non white men. I don’t think that’s really true….Why should you protect us…Ouch…That kinda stung. I mean, we are the mothers of creation, protect us because in protecting us you proctect your race. If we aren’t around there won’t be any more little brown babies to grow up and be strong black leaders. Or does everyone just want their children to have “good hair?” You should protect us because that’s what “they” do. Even to the point that they will burn down a whole town (Tulsa, Rosewood) to defend “her” even if she begged to have that big black sanke up in her. Come on brotha use your head. Protect us because we’re your mother and your sisters…Who doesn’t take care of family?
I’m 26 and I’ve dated 2 white men before and a mexican. However, I’d rather be with my black brother. There is nothing like the love of a strong, spiritual (not religious) black man. I have a good job, working on my master’s, a car, a house, I work out at least 5 days a week so I’m in good shape, I do a lot of community service, and I’m active in my church and that doesn’t seem like enough… I would like to know what does it take black man for you to want me (the black woman) again.
I read an article a few months ago, a study was conducted where black men were the most attractive group out of the other races; however, black women were the least attractive group. These articles are attempts to demean black women. Black women are making various strives in the communities through continuous education. These people cannot stop their progress, but if you demean & belittle them enough, it will kill their self-esteem & self-worth. Black women are beautiful & other races want to be like thm though tanning & injections. I am a black woman & I know I am beautiful. I am approached by men of all races about my beauty. I am brown skin, shapely and a fashionista. In addition, white women often compliment me on how beautiful I am all the time. This is “Hating 101″ to cause fear of the black men, a divide in the black community, & low the self-worth of black women. We love our community enough to not tolerate this behavior.
Let the church say AMEN my sista…
conquer and divide… seems were the only group takes the bait…don’t believe the hype. Where do they get these statistics anyway and who are they using for these polls…
This has been going on for years now and people are just now taking notice…it’s pathetic but it’s 80% true. Black men know it and take advantage of the stock of women they can have so they look over all the beautiful black women for OTHERS… then OTHERS feel they are better for him than a black woman either because of what this fool tells her about black women only to make himself shine in her eyes or because so many black women are single and this OTHER is walking around feeling like she is a trophy. I have even heard a few of these same OTHERS comment on these black men (after he’s done with them) and say about him, “I thought he didnt like black women” ( asinine)…ON THE OTHER HAND….black women (not all,but some) are messy as h**l! It’s rare to see black women maintain friendships with one another for YEARS due to envy, so it’s hard to like a group (race) of women who for the most part, don’t like each other and who can AUTOMATICALLY not like (hating) another sister on sight, not knowing a thing about her. Black women need to do ALOT of soul searching, less being ratchet, less passing their bodies like candy, less sharing a p***s and find some respect for herself and her SISTERS….Am I My Sisters Keeper? Well, if so….stop being messy, stop thinking it’s cute being Ratchet and sleeping with another females man (THATS MESSY) and stop pulling other black women down and purposely trying to destroy another sisters home (Not saying that other women don’t do some messy/ratchet ISH too, but black women are known for it!) WE need to break this FOOLISH cycle, stop hating on each other and lift each other up! ENOUGH IS ENUFF!
Black Queen, I totally agree with everything you had to say about the touchy subject. I’m a black male who absolutely love my black sister. But there is somehting that I see all too often when it comes to sisters: They are haters of the worse sort! I watch people alot, their mannerisms their attitudes, etc., and I see more times then I care to, sisters critizing other people, but especially another black woman. It makes no difference how lovely, how well endowed, how fashionable the sister is, other can find some kind of fault in her and start hatin’. I think this is why most women who I talk to tell me that they do not like hanging with other (black women), because they know thadt sooner or later there is going to b ee some kind of drama jumping off. And where reality meets art is on some of there so-called reality shows such as basketball wives, etc. Not all sisters represent this kind of mentality, but the shows are exporting the image of the overly-violent, overly-s****l, overly-angry black drama queen to the world. So when a poll or survey is taken (even in China somewhere), of course the respondent is going to revert back to these shows forwhich he get his information concerning black women, and the answer is of course, going to be “h**l no, why would I want some hysterical, out of control women who does not know how to conducct herself in polite society”. Recognize your beauty, Black Queens, both inside and out.
Sad to say this is so true it’s shameful and embarrassing to say the least. We truly need to get better at being our sisters keeper on all fronts…real talk
You once laughed at my lips calling them “soup coolers”, you once tried to talk about how big my a*s was, you tried to tell me my skin was too dark, too black, and you tried to make me ashamed of my naturally curly hair saying ewwww its “nappy”. Now you pay money to inject collegen into your lips to MAKE THEM FULLER, you pay money to take fat and have it injected into your a***s or exercise like mad to have a BIG a*s, you lay out in the sun and fry like bacon or tan like crazy risking skin cancer to have DARKER skin, and you buy products to make your hair KINKY and attempt dreads or braids. Lol I don’t care what “you” say about me, apparently I’m beautiful enough for you to emulate and no one wants to copy someone who isn’t. Nuff said.
luv the comment
luv the comment kmad
I’m always gonna have my sistas backs!
Love your comment sista.
Set them straight girlfriend, that’s real talk
#POW KMAD….been saying this for years. Try to defame me all u want but in the privacy of your homes, amongst your girlfriends you not only covet my look but my man and swagger!
You noticed too, huh! Whites always criticize and make fun of our culture, but are the first ones trying to imitate it!!
CHURCH!
I live on the East coast in a very small state. Many white girls are noted as “better” to be with than black girls. It saddens me when I see these young ladies almost prostitute themselves just to get the attention of a male that has the same color skin as them. I take this cover as one that could either go negatively or positively in intent but unfortunately we never know the audience that will see it nor how it will be perceived as a whole. Without reading the article I reserve comment. I do know one thing, I can’t speak for the whole country but as for where I live, we need to help these girls self esteem in more ways than one.
It’s sad that it seems to always take a negative comment or article from someone non black before BM and BW will compliment and/or announce their appreciation for each another. Unfortunately, we’ve seen this movie before; after the emotions regarding this article die down, black women will go back to saying BM ain’t shyit and BM will respond saying BW are permiscuous bytches and hoes.
Wow! Some of you all are gonna get upset at what I’m about to say but people feel obligated to say things like this because of how we as black women are! No nonsense! Out of anyone! For a long time we have been labeled as angry and aggressive, overly aggressive I might add. Black women are the strongest group of people that god EVER created!!!! BELIEVE IT!!! These men they are referring to that choose women of other races are WEAK!!! And as a true black woman, I wouldn’t have a weak man! So ladies feel free to rescue us free these weak individuals!!!! I have a black man that is approached by other races of women all the time but he chooses to be with me!!!! So people just because something is said doesn’t make it reality! This is funny to me!!! LOL Me being who I am I really don’t give a d**n whether they like me or not!!!! THEIR LOSS!!!!
I LOVE BLACK!!!! BLACK = ME!!!!!
Black women are the strongest people on the planet. Period. Why Black women even feel the need to respond to this type of bullshit mystifies me. Who gives a s**t what other people think about you? Be you. Period. That’s it that’s all. Wear your fro, your braids, every woman still tries to emulate you. This is a ploy to get you off track with yourself. KNOW who you are. I think if Black women NEVER responded to s**t like this, articles like this would just die down. And for the record sista’s……WHEN A BLACK DATES ANOTHER FROM A DIFFERENT RACE, IT SAYS MORE ABOUT HIM THAN IT DOES ABOUT YOU. IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. EVEN IF HE SAYS IT DOES. IT HAS TO DO WITH THAT MAN BEING WEAK, OR WANTING TO CONTROL SOMETHING THAT HE WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO CONTROL WITH YOU.
Thankyou brother. Nice to have a real man step up to the plate.:D
Same here sis, could not have said it better myself
Ok, so using you rational and applying it to black women; each of the thousands of black women dating and marrying non black men are all weak black females?? Is that correct???
I took a moment to go find the story and ready it. For the life of me I can’t figure out why in the world the cover says what it says as the content of the article not coincide! This appears as a sad ploy to get readers and exploit black girls and interacial relationships in the meantime.
I bet that DUB lives in Rhode Island!!!!
…or DUB could live in Delaware….either way, both are anti-black female states…..
I think this is a untrue statement on its face. And to be honest the assertion that nobody likes/loves/is interested in Black women is insulting. I see this as an attempt once again to ‘lower the stock’ of Black women and fool them into falsely think that since ‘nobody else wants me,’ they should just go with whatever scoops them up.
i love me some latin asian and white women
That’s wonderful.
So what? Your name means “devil” You should change it.
Within, itself, the respective article is not only stereotypical, but untrue. If no one loves “black girls,” why are there married black women to all races of people; especially, the black men? This is very obvious, based on both observations and statistics!
As a black man I go after any type of woman. I was brought up in a west-indian background (caribbean) and my family is completely different than american black women. I really do not like how alot of black women act and it spoils it for the good ones. Going after other races is not a weakness nor is it a strength, it is simply a preference. People try to make it more than it is. Race is just a color, meaningless. People give race power and that is why it is the way it is. Nothing is stopping a black woman from getting a white, asian, or hispanic man except themselves.
Your comments are not surprising, because alot of you from West Indes (Caribbean) still have that slave mentality believing Whites are superior to you. You can deny it all you want but it’s true and you know it. It’s also ironic that most of you think you are better or different than as you all regularly say “the average American Black” but you all break your neck to come to America to get the benefits off the back of us “Average Blacks”,while trying to fit in with Whites who don’t accept you as anything other than Black. For those of you who are illegal they treat you worst than the Mexicans/Latinos giving them a green card while sending you better West Indes Blacks back to where you came from quick and in a hurry! Don’t get it twisted, you aren’t better than the “Average American Black”, you are more confused!
Love how you set the record straight;)
the study should be based on the number of people who want to date her, not on how many people get to date her. somebody dropped the ball. im a black woman and every race loves me
Black women are strong, intelligent, beautiful creations fashioned by the hand of the almighty God himself. Those who slander us, our character, our intellect, and attempt to destroy our self esteem, realize the power that lies dormant in the dark skin tone. We simply do not acknowledge our wisdom nor our value as we try not to intimidate others. We just are the confident, defiant, greatly admired beauties that God made us to be. That is not to say other races are not beautiful, we are just amazing amongst the variety of humanity.
IF YOU REPEAT A LIE OFTEN ENOUGH SOME IDIOT WILL BELIEVE THE LIE. SOME WHITES WANT TO PUT DOWN AFRICAN-AMERICAN WOMEN TO SHOW HATRED TOWARD OUR FIRST LADY.
DON’T BELIEVE THE LIE!
Everything Black women possess naturally have been copied by other races of women cosmetically except our hair. To all the Black men who have valued, loved, appreciated and uplifted Black women and Black girls we thank you and love you! To the Black men (especially the ignorant Athletes and other Celebs) who have put these other women on a pestal, shared your seed, and gave them undeserved praise, support and your resources you are a sad bunch, responsible for alot of the negativity and disrespect good Black women continue to experience and suffer. Everytime they do it, it turns out bad for them, OJ, Tiger, Snipes, need I say more….. Yes, some women have degraded themselves on their own, but Black Women as a whole are responsible for the progressive movements and accomplishments we have made as a people because we have and continue to be the support and foundation of those who have broken through the barriers and blockages in place against us. We have been loyal and committed to the end although it has in many cases not been returned.
I LOVE MY BLACK SISTER’S AND THERE’S NO OTHER WOMEN
LIKE OUR BLACK QUEENS.
f**k WHAT THOSE CRACKERS SAY,THERE JEALOUS THAT THEY ARE WHITE AND THE SUN IS TEARING THERE a*s UP.BURN BABY BURN!!!!!!!!LOL
Ypu’re so funny!! “Burn Baby Burn” is an old Civil Rights fight phrase.
By the way, who wrote the article? A Black woman? A White woman?
LOVE YOUR COMMENT LOVE MY BLACKNESS.
Has anyone actually bothered to READ the article. Or is it not out yet? Surely people aren’t getting all up in arms about a cover page with out reading what it’s about. Cover pages are suposed to incite excitement and even controversy, it increases sales.
Thanks for saying this. Here’s the link
http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2012/jul/11/cover-afro-puffs/
forget the article, whoever performed the study messed it up. the study should be based on the number of people who want to date her, not on how many people get to date her. somebody dropped the ball. im a black woman and every race loves me
This only the results of a World Built on Supremacy & Superiority!Black Women are the Mothers of Humanity Period so all you peckerwoods can beat it! Ask Robert Deniro if he like Blackwomen or George Lucas lol Most BlackMen marry sistas so what’s really Good? Get up outta Here with that BS
Just plain hogwash. My first love was jet black. In fact, her blackness attracted her to me more than anything else. I don’t think that’s healthy, and I won’t expound on it. Be careful lest newsmakers lead your into the color trap.
It’s still amazing how so many of you have such ‘valid’ opinions but can only speak of 2 or 3 examples of socalled ‘truth’. Any relationship should be based upon the chemistry between two people not the rhetoric and venom spouted on this page.
There is no such thing as collective self-esteem.
This article is White supremacist since it assumes “No-one” means “White” without questioning the assumption.
This article is so divisive and inappropriate. People like it or not we are becoming more diverse and living in biracial, multiracial and multicultural families.
I believe black men want to love their sisters but between media brainwashing and them not knowing the kings that they truly are and women not truly knowing their role in the relationships leads to a division. I know I am going to get slack for saying this, but ladies, how is he suppose to love you and love your beauty when you don’t appreciate your own beauty by trying to look so much different than how you were designed to look. More times than not, there are African American women in Chinese owned shops trying to buy Indian hair getting their nails done by Koreans. This whole beauty thing has some women messed up! Who are you when all that is said and gone?
not true,My husband is white and we met married and lived in San Diego where I had previously dated black men, hispanics and even middle easterners.
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Just the fact that this magazine would devote their cover to something so stupid says a lot about race relations in America.
I agree with some of the comments above,Some black women seen to have a chip on there shoulder,mess with other women men,call themselves taking another black women man,by getting pregant,being a drama queen,dont have respect for themselves being a stripper at clubs and hooker on street,because they a have beautiful body .God created our bodies this way, our hair,thick lips and skin color,he also created us with a mind we are smart ,Intelligent women, I think black women should respect each other better, there is nothing wrong with speaking to each with a smile, stop calling each bitchess,whores,then maybe the black man will do better.
I am a single, educated, financially responsible heterosexual Black Man. I love and respect Black Women, and have had the opportunities to date outside my race, but didn’t because they were not Black Women! I love Black Women, and can’t see myself getting involved with anyone else!! A lot of Black Women seem to have attitude these days, and they are portrayed by the mainstream media as fiesty, mean and argumentive. (Basketball wives, etc). While there are many that act this way, maybe out of frustration, there are many that do not, and are very down to earth and able to get along well with others. I stand by and continue to support Black Women regardless of the stereotypes. Just as there are stereotypes about Black Men not being responsible and preferring to date outside his race, I know that to be untrue as there are a lot of good Black Men still out here looking for a good Black Woman, as I am one. I recently began dating an amazing Black Woman that I now have a wonderful relationship with, am dating exclusively, and looking forward to a possible future with her in my life.
Read the story, then comment. Please
Here’s the link.
http://www.sandiegoreader.com/news/2012/jul/11/cover-afro-puffs/
I believe that the article is not meant to enrage or demean.but rather it is to tell the truth. Maybe it hurts more coming from someone of another race. But let’s face it. Its shining a light on an ugly truth. We as black people need to stop shutting down things or taking offense when someone of another race notices the issues that plague ours. This statement is not new and is sadly accepted as truth. Just think of it. I’ve heard plenty of black men talk about how they can’t find a good black woman so they are dating outside their race. There is also a documentary called Diary of a tired black man that shows why black woman are not desirable. Lastly just look at the media. Black rappers, and singers consistence place exotic, Hispanic,and white women as their lead girls in the videos. So really this article is just an echo of what society thinks. Sad but its the truth.
Regarding the documentary you mention called “Diary of a tired black man ” that you say shows “why black woman are not desirable” — keep in mind that’s just one person’s view.
I am a black woman who happens to be dating a man who is not black. I have dated black men and other men since my teen years. Here’s what I know: People are people. I would never put down black men as a whole just because I currently date a white male. I do not believe any group of people is superior or inferior. Each individual has strengths and limitations.
My brothers are black and I see both their positive and negative traits, just as I have my own positive and negative traits. My son’s father is a black male and he is a good father to our son. I’m no longer with him, but he is important in our lives and we are there for each other as extended family.
Black women who date outside the race and who are intelligent and compassionate do not operate under an illusion. We do not view other non-black males as inherently better. We just happen to be in relationship with whoever we’re compatible with at the time.
actually, i prefer a lady over a woman any day. that being said, you blk woman have had your movies, shows, songs,and books for over 30yrs. blk men took it and didn’t say a word…but now these young boys have become men and are now letting you have a taste of your medicines. you have to remember it’s been 3o yrs so the dislike so strong you put us down for and made money for hollywood and drove a rash of blk men out of your arms. ladies, think about it,casue and effect.
lastly, i am not talking about the ladies but you ladies need to stand up and educate these young women so we can get our act together as a race.
Now I will agree with that. Totally Cause and Effect… I hate to see what’s going to happen to the generation of children growing up now. What type of adults will they be. Cause were I’m from it’s so many lil lesbians and gay kids… And they babies… 13, 14, 15…I work w/ kids on a regular and I’m thinking D@mn so is this what it has come to?
DID ANYONE HERE, including the author of this post and the person who submitted it, TO READ THE “AFRO PUFFS” ARTICLE???? Go online to the San Diego Reader, type “Afro Puffs” in the search box, and the entire article is there to read.
What is on the cover of this magazine is a quote from the article that has been taken out of context as an aggressive approach to draw in readers.
BECOME CRITICAL READERS YA’LL!! PART OF OUR PROBLEM IS WE JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS WITHOUT ALL THE FACTS!
Wow! So much drama and tension! Somewhere along the way, (in my opinion), black men and black women have been misguided. As a woman who is probably old enough to have mothered all of you, I am sad about it, too. I love black people, men and women – and most of all, our children. What we say and do is critical right now. How many of you get to know an individual before adding s*x to the relationship? Black women, try being more natural. I mean less fake this and fake that and putting all your money into an America that doesn’t love you for you. Black men, remember who God made first, and what your true role is; to lead and guide, to be an example to that woman. We just don’t respect each other enough anymore. We are not humble in our spirits, we are selfish, and have taken on too many traits from the world. The only answer is to be reborn.
Goggle Willie Lynch….”How To Make a Slave.” He is alive and well in the black community. Whether you are right or wrong…it is frustrating to see the dysfunction. Loyalty to culture is the same as having respect for your culture. I do not feel anyone on the planet is privy to having everyone liking them…but respect can move mountains…respect can stop wars. If a brother decides he wants to be with a non-black woman…wish him well…but he does not have to disrespect me because we’ve never met…so I could not have done anything to him to make him dislike me. People choose to be with who they want to be with. If a brother is with a white woman he should not have to bash black women to justify his relationship with her. If he does…is he saying if black women weren’t the way he sees them…that he would be with a black woman instead of her? That would sound like she would not have been his first choice in that case. I would not want to be in a relationship with any man by default.
I see why ……..all of our celebrities always go blonde …and as soon as a brother gets a little money ……….he gets with a white girl or an almost white looking woman..