In this video, Dr. Boyce Watkins speaks to women who feel that only men in church are worthy of their time on the dating scene. Dr. Watkins talks about the deep religious sentiment among African American women and how they can be influenced by their pastors to only date men who are in church with them. But Dr. Watkins explains that a good man is not always a man who goes to church and not every man who goes to church is good.
Instead of just focusing on the religious nature of the man, Dr. Watkins says that you should look at the man’s character to decide if he is right for you. Men like Bishop Eddie Long are often positioned as leaders in the church, leading many women to make decisions that are bad for their s****l and psychological health. The video is a follow up to a conversation with Deborrah Cooper, author of the book, “The Black Church: Where Women Pray and Men Prey.”
Dr. Watkins makes it clear that he is not condemning the church or black women who go to church. Instead, he is calling for black women to be thoughtful about their dating and mating choices instead of believing that a church-going man is always going to treat them right. This on-going dialogue relates to the struggles being experienced in black relationships and black families in general, and finding solutions that create conditions that are most conducive to the development and sustainability of meaningful African American love.