In this video, Lydia Cotton discusses the fact that 72% of black women are single mothers. She also talks about movies like “Waiting to Exhale,” where it appears that women enjoy the grief of complaining about the men that they are with. Cotton calls for accountability on the part of women who continuously find themselves in relationships with deadbeats.
She says that “no percentage of these women” (single mothers) got pregnant by themselves. She says that it doesn’t make sense for a woman to sleep with a man who is not worth having s*x with and then complain that the man is not a good father to her child. Cotton says that if you’re choosing the people you’re having s*x with, and they all end up being terrible fathers, what does that say about you?
Right after seeing the film “For Colored Girls,” Cotton says that there is an on-going national pity party for black women occurring, where women are encouraging one another to feel sorry for themselves. She says that “you allowed him to treat you like this. You did not demand respect from the beginning,” leading to the outcomes that you later experience.
Cotton believes that “on some sick twisted level, we enjoy pain. We almost enjoy creating this drama in our lives.”
Is that true? Do black women deliberately seek out drama or is it that they simply have the cards dealt out to them poorly? Cotton says that many women are convinced that they don’t deserve the love that is good for them and instead feel that they are only worthy of “chicken sh*t.” These are strong words, but if you go to many events like the Essence Music Festival, you are more likely to hear sad stories than happy ones. Maybe it’s time to take control of our own destinies.
The video is below: