Ask a Black Man: 10 Things that Men Really Like

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Please note:  this list is not written for anyone who doesn’t need a man.  If you feel that catering to your man and being the best you can be for him is somehow beneath you or degrades you as a woman, you should not read this article.  I’m sure you can treat men like crap and find a man who will do the same for you.

But if you are looking for ways to get inside a good man’s heart and create a relationship that is full of love, pleasure, peace and happiness, then here are some tips that might help you.   It is important to understand that like cooking food with fresh ingredients, these tips only work on the right kind of man.  So, spend time getting to know the guy before you start sprinkling all of your best loving on him.  Here are things that men like:

1)      Men like it when you are nice – please smile, laugh a lot and don’t be so serious all the time.   A smiling woman is like sunshine in the morning.   A frowning, snarling woman is like washing your body with a dirty dish towel.

 2)      Men like it when you listen to them – you ever notice how mothers know everything about their sons?  When they wake up, what they like to eat, how long they take their nap?  Grown men are the same way.  Listening to him and getting to know him makes him feel connected to you and appreciative.

 3)      Men like it when you compliment them and make them feel like better men –  If there is something that you like about your man, please say it.

 4)      Men like it when they feel that you need them – if you convince your man that you don’t need him, then he’s going to assume that you won’t notice if he’s gone

 5)      Men like it when you care about giving them good sex on a regular basis – stop thinking that a good man won’t care if he gets sex or not.   Most men like sex, a lot.

 6)      Men like it when they are not pressured – if you want something, use your patient, smooth, feminine persuasion to get him to come around.  Don’t overwhelm him with your own insecurities and bitterness about the situation.  You can say all the same things you would normally say, just remember that there is value in being nice.

 7)      Men like it when you support them – notice how excited little boys get when their moms show up to watch their baseball games?  That’s how your man feels when you support him in reaching his goals.  Eventually, he becomes addicted to your moral support and never wants you to leave his side.  That’s why cheerleaders get all the guys.

 8)      Men like it when you are proud of them – if there is something that your man does well, tell him.  Don’t keep it inside, he appreciates that validation – it swells his head in more ways than one.

 9)      Men like it when you make them a priority – A man is not a pet that you leave at home while you’re at work for 12 hours a day.  If you’re too busy to invest time into your relationship, then don’t start a relationship.

 10)   Men like it when you allow them to lead and be strong – if your man is not equipped to lead, then find a better man.   Don’t believe the feminist BS that men and women are the same.  They are not.  That’s why we have a lot of testosterone and you don’t.  Both men and women have important roles in a relationship and a man likes to feel strong.  Don’t emasculate him, boost him up instead.


  1. Team Afro

    July 14, 2012 at 1:20 pm

    This is so simple, so straightforward and so accurate. Most good black men just want a woman who will treat them well, be nice and be supportive. Of course a good brother should reciprocate when he finds this woman. People are making relationships much too hard these days. Blame it on Basketball Savages Wives and all the other drama-loving foolishness out there in the media. BTW nice site!

    • Tiffany

      July 16, 2012 at 1:48 pm

      I totally agree!

  2. Melissa

    July 15, 2012 at 9:22 am

    This is a great list. I’m keeping this saved to my desktop for reference. ;o)

  3. Randy

    July 15, 2012 at 10:18 am

    This list is on point, because my lady fails in most of these areas…. And I assure you that I’m a good brotha.

    • Tiffany

      July 16, 2012 at 1:45 pm

      Well, why you with her….lol…there’s a lot of good black women in the world who would be willing to give a brother what he needs….Don’t stay there unhappy…It just makes it harder on the next woman.

  4. john

    July 15, 2012 at 1:31 pm

    The list is hit’s the nail on the head,my lady is failing in afew areas just hope she gets it!!!,because i do love her

  5. Mary

    July 15, 2012 at 7:47 pm

    This list could also be titled “10 things that women really like” If men and women followed this list we would have happier marriages and families.

  6. jay

    July 15, 2012 at 11:16 pm

    Okay now figure this out….what are the ten things a woman likes? (lol) In light of the relationship status between men and women today, this is surely not of concern when it comes to the ratio of women to men. (smile) This is a cute article and very well may be applicable in some circumstances if you’re lucky to find a man!! lol…However, a woman that America has now decided to emancipate looks for STRENGTH in a man first in order to receive the level of respect to be willing to give those ten things.

    The majority of men today is not even looking to be in a monogamous relationship let laone getting married; women have always looked to be loved by the very one she was created for…A MAN. I surely am not complaining, but I am aware of how to keep a man intersted and satisfied, but I am also a realist when it comes to hwo easily a man can stray by being so impressionable to this way of life in America. (smile)

  7. dw

    July 16, 2012 at 1:15 pm

    I suck at half of these and my man just told me these same things to work on in our relationship, so thats what im gonna do because he is a great guy i wont take for granted anymore!
    -And keep cooking! LOL

    • Mama-T

      July 18, 2012 at 12:30 am

      Awwwwwwe…thts sooooo GOOD you “admitted”..”YOU-GOT-IT” Lady DW 🙂 !!
      If you Young ppl just remember to treat your “Guys & Gals as “GIFTS”…you would NEVER displease each other!!

      Imagine someone gave you a NEW Car….would you…Neglect it…Never wash it…let Everybody “Drive It”….Never tell the purchaser “THANK-U”,of course not….(Welllll,we PRAY You don’t anyway 🙂 !!

      PLEEEZZZ..listen to this Widow..

      Life is “TOO-SHORT”..& GOOD-Mates are TOO-FEW….so..PLEASE…learn how to…”YET-LOVE”…(Yep…thts “YET” Love…if I had time…I would break it down 2 ya…lol)

      And if I can just add a #11….to that list…

      11. Men like/LOVE when you TRULY …”FORGIVE” -THEM & Their mistakes!!
      If,you have decided to “Stay w/ur Man”….FORGIVE…YOUR….MAN”!! And “TRUE-FORGIVNESS” means….act as if…it has NEVER happened!!

      Now…THATS…what God (AND…Your Man)…LOVES…(can I get a AMEN….Men 🙂

      PEACE,LOVE & HAPPINESS in Your Homes/Relationships…Boo Boo’s !!

      Mama-T…….out !!

  8. JillsPOV

    July 16, 2012 at 8:43 pm

    Great list-already had 1unsuccessful marriage & in this relationship I am on all of these. In my last marriage he wasn’t needed because he didn’t do anything to fulfill the needs ergo he’s now dating his best friends widow!

  9. Mel

    July 16, 2012 at 9:31 pm

    Well it seems like 2 me men want the same thangz women want, wit the exception of part of #10 bout leading, everything else iz a must 4 women az well.

  10. Kara

    July 17, 2012 at 10:08 am

    This list is AWESOME! I’ll admit that I need to work on some of these, but I do agree with the commenter above stating that women want all of these things too. I would, however, make #9 my #1 and reword #10 to read “Women want a man who is wise enough and strong enough to lead them.” I think women have it in them to be and do all of these things and will once we find a man that does them too (per my revised version). A wise person once wrote, “If he treats [her] like a queen, she’ll treat him like a king.”

  11. Aleasa Word

    July 17, 2012 at 4:55 pm

    I couldn’t have said it any better myself. I’ve been on a 3 year quest to learn in depth how the male mind works and share that with WOMEN who are ready to hear this. Great article!!!! Kudos to you.

  12. chanelit

    July 24, 2012 at 9:45 am

    I was nice until he kept doing the same shit
    I listened and he kept being omissive and evasive.
    I complimented and he found a girlfriend
    I needed him and he went to jail for 30 days
    I gave good sex and got a std
    I pressured him to start a business
    I supported him and was gonna quit my job to help
    I made him a priority and I was always placed last on the list of to do
    I let him lead and he lead my ass right into forclosure and financial ruins.


  13. KS

    July 28, 2012 at 10:08 pm

    And if you do all of these, then what?

    I’m nice. He’s always telling me how sweet I am (“too sweet”) until I do or say something he doesn’t like. He’s a priority. I’ve bought “things” for the bedroom. I compliment, support, only pressure when I feel disrespected. I’m waiting…does HE get it? He seemed to get it for a week and now I feel the same. Sooooo… (This is rhetorical. I know what I need to do.) Where’s the 10 Things Women Like list? Oh, right. Men don’t read that stuff.

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