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Are Black Women Addicted to Relationship Pity Parties?

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In this video, Lydia Cotton discusses the fact that 72% of black women are single mothers.  She also talks about movies like “Waiting to Exhale,” where it appears that women enjoy the grief of complaining about the men that they are with.   Cotton calls for accountability on the part of women who continuously find themselves in relationships with deadbeats.

She says that “no percentage of these women” (single mothers) got pregnant by themselves.  She says that it doesn’t make sense for a woman to sleep with a man who is not worth having sex with and then complain that the man is not a good father to her child.  Cotton says that if you’re choosing the people you’re having sex with, and they all end up being terrible fathers, what does that say about you?

Right after seeing the film “For Colored Girls,” Cotton says that there is an on-going national pity party for black women occurring, where women are encouraging one another to feel sorry for themselves.  She says that “you allowed him to treat you like this.   You did not demand respect from the beginning,” leading to the outcomes that you later experience.

Cotton believes that “on some sick twisted level, we enjoy pain.  We almost enjoy creating this drama in our lives.”

Is that true?  Do black women deliberately seek out drama or is it that they simply have the cards dealt out to them poorly? Cotton says that many women are convinced that they don’t deserve the love that is good for them and instead feel that they are only worthy of “chicken sh*t.”  These are strong words, but if you go to many events like the Essence Music Festival, you are more likely to hear sad stories than happy ones.  Maybe it’s time to take control of our own destinies.

The video is below:

 

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54 Comments

  1. Fig Newton

    July 16, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    I am tired of you people attacking Black womanhood. What is newsworthy or informative about some pity party? Are you suggesting that being Black make a reason to discuss pitiful relationships. Black relationships are not the only relationships that exist in the pitiful realm. Black women are not the only women who get into and have to deal with pitiful men with whom they happen to be in a pitiful relationship. Black women are not the only ones having pity parities. Why don’t you people mind your damn business and leave the Black women alone. Thank you very much.

    • Jacy

      July 16, 2012 at 8:00 pm

      My thoughts exactly. I don’t know if I like this site. Every time I look at it, it’s 95% negative about black people.

  2. Mr.B

    July 16, 2012 at 7:59 pm

    Thank you Ms.Cotton, the truth needed to be told and you took the time to tell it. I am a 60 yr.old black man, married 40 yrs.to a wonderful black woman, we have two beautiful daughters and I hope that they will honestly listen, listen with their ears not their hearts.

    • stopthstupidity

      July 17, 2012 at 11:11 am

      The truth be told is the fact that all nationalities of women’s favorite pastime is the “pityparty”. I agree with the previous comments, attack the black women as if what we do and what we wear, and what our hair is like is breaking news. Stop using us as a scapegoat when you have nothing else to write about.

  3. Jakada Zo

    July 16, 2012 at 8:09 pm

    The real world:

    We have been splintered from our ancestral conscious reality and now we participate in acting out the dream. Who do we mimic? Who do we aspire to live like? What does that model look like? Is this model working for the people who we mimic? For all you brothers who are patient and clearly not trying to live like anyone other then being a good Man from the heart, hold on. We cant be what the creator has not designed us to be. Sisters look closely at what you want, because that is what you are attracting. Choosing from the eye’s and not from the soul always leads to disappointment. I bear witness that we must listen to the words which has lead us to this place, then we will recognize that we were only promised a dream, “The American Dream”. Are we mature enough to have conscious loving, caring and protective relationships? What a people promotes tells a lot about that peoples wants, desires, and future ambitions. Let’s be careful not to include our former and current conditioning analysis for how we got into this condition. I say in closing: let the dreamers stay with the dreamers, and the conscious seek out the conscious. Only then will the real connection be made. To love is to evol-ve, cant you see the word love spelled backwards in that? Let’s evolve and love will be automatic.

    On the move

    Jakada Zo, T.F.

  4. hyacinth M. Graham

    July 16, 2012 at 8:32 pm

    Black women are faced with complex issues regarding who they are, and how they feel about themselves. What they experienced in their families about their self worth or lack of it, and the dyfunctional relationships they experienced in their families contribute to misconceptions that get them into trouble.

  5. Mrsshya

    July 16, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    To answer the question… I don’t know, but whatever time we get to whine, we deserve! We spend all of our other time assisting everyone else!. (yes that was my personal pity soiree)

  6. makar72

    July 16, 2012 at 9:38 pm

    It’s funny how Steve Harvey can write a book about this very thing and women love it and him. But when a black woman speaks up about this people get offended. I am with Mr.B… Find a way to hear this and maybe see that she is saying the same things that Harvey was conveying in his book “Act Like A Woman, Think Like a Man” (I have to say that I cannot totally endorse everything he said though).

  7. RandalMann

    July 16, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    Truth hurts, and truth will slap you in the face in the attempt to wake you up from a future nightmare, with the possibility to become a reality that you will deal with in the near future. The Black woman is a walking powerhouse, who is desired by all races of men. Choices, it is all about the choices we make in life. I will never understand why ladies attack and ignore lifesaving, uplifting information and embrace worthlessness and submit their life to trash talking men!

  8. Needyour own businee

    July 16, 2012 at 11:30 pm

    so you have the perfect relationship ,well sweetie you must have never had your heart broken girl please get real you never know what the hell these men will do to you no matter how you lay the cards on the table ,some Marriages end up in Divorce after 40years and 280years so find the real truth and stop going on what you see in television or what you think RESEARCH some more ,you will never find are get a perfect relationship,no where so you need to look in your backyard really hard before saying shit you don’t really know about because you don’t know ever woman in this dam world ,so speak on your life not others okay

    • RandalMann

      July 19, 2012 at 2:36 am

      @Needyour own businee, my first wife of 5 years left me for a drug dealer. The drug dealer promise her the world, but kick her to the curb after one month. I not bitter or mad because I made that choice! I thank God she walk out that door. There is no such thing as a perfect relationship, and yes I had my heart broken. Like my mother said, there are too many fish in the sea. I found my Queen, married for 16 years. Life is wonderful because I upgraded! Too many FEMALE DOG CATCHERS, running too many DOG POUNDS! Lydia Cotton THANK YOU FOR SPEAKING THE TRUTH & NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH

  9. Samdromeda

    July 16, 2012 at 11:58 pm

    What is the dimensions of your universe? Are you aware of the forces that affect you? Where do you draw your wisdom from and where do you wish to invest it? The beginning of any successful endeavor is knowing and executing the steps needed to bring about success. To be taken off task is to forget your mission. The mutuality of the contribution of male and female is to realize that the family is the seedbed of the gods. It takes total unity and the realization that this is how Christ and The Church will complete the cosmos with beings that look and have the character of God the Father. Men who run the gauntlet and survive are indebted to and hence under the control of the woman who is chief. She cannot change her role nor can he. That is why warriors remain warriors and the women teach the young men how to fight. No woman is good enough for the son of the chief if she will not let him go.

  10. Samdromeda

    July 17, 2012 at 12:11 am

    A man seeks a wife and finds a good thing and obtains favor from God. There is a procedure that works without violating God’s law. Consequences even for those who repent remain. However it is good to know what works and seek counsel from one who discerns what you cannot when blinded by passion and lust.

  11. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 12:44 am

    More negativity against Black women. No substance. No logic. Over generalizations. Promotion of false narratives. No redeeming value. Just pure unadulterated foolishness.

  12. Mnyama

    July 17, 2012 at 9:19 am

    I agree. Black women are always on Facebook or some other social media site talking about their troubles with their men or baby daddies. Who cares? Im a Black woman and haven’t found my ideal mate yet I don’t see anything to keep discussing. If the guy is chicken shit, I dismiss him and wait for the next one. I’m not going to be all on Facebook beseeching the Lord and posting Bible verses about how Jesus gone move one man out the way to make room for another or sitting around a church every Sunday listening to some Passa or Bishop tell me what to do. Black people in general have a victimization mentality and pass it on to their boys and girls who, in turn, keep up the trend. Blacks aren’t special whether it’s race matters or relationship matters. We’re people who have problems like every other race but ours are the only problems out in the street for all to see. Black people need to shut up and grow up and quit waiting on the Passa to telling them that Jesus gone send ’em a man. If he could do that, ya’ll would have one by now.

    • Onthefence

      July 20, 2012 at 8:37 pm

      Our business is not the only business out there in the street. It may get more attention than that of other races, but we do not have the market cornered on foolish women/girls who have allowed their hearts to be broken and lack self esteem. That being said; I believe black weomen do need to pick ourselvs up and do exactly what everyone else does and that is whatever is best for them. We need to start being a little more selfish and thinking outside the box, dating outside our race etc. In the meantime, please consider the fact that black women are about the lowest on the totem pole when it comes to respect so when we go through things it may sting just a little more because we not only have the shit in our personal lives to deal with but we also carry the burden of knowing how society perceives us, so please, for those of us who are still trying to find their place of peace, try to be a little more understanding.

  13. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 9:39 am

    Mnyama One of the main reasons we can not move ahead as a race is because of our limited life exposure and knowledge which causes far too many of us to spew a bunch of falsehoods about our race. We have really bought into the lie that only the worse things come from us. There are endless books, blogs, articles, discussions, etc. by women in general involving male/female relationships. I am sure the profits generated from relationship topics are through the roof and always have been. To say that only black women widely discuss these topics shows nothing but an extreme level of ignorance. Just google relationships. You’d be surprised at the search results.

  14. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 9:55 am

    This blog and most others owned by Dr. Boyce Watkins show a pattern of total lack of regard for black women. They show deep resentment and bitterness. Perhaps he has a personal vendetta against black women. Many of his attack articles cause nothing but division and reinforcement of long held stereotypes. And he often uses his female surrogates to do his dirty work. It’s fine to have intelligent discussion on issues concerning black women, but most of the of the articles presented on these blogs are condescending, ridiculing, desrespecting and degrading towards black women. One of the worse was entitled something like “Single Mothers You Don’t Have A Penis.” Yesterday there was something about the new HIV Drug and the focus was on black women as though women don’t contract HIV from men who practice risky sex with multiple partners. (There is a whole dymnamic as to the reasons why women consent to having sex with these men.)There was some article about black women thinking that white men are their knights in shining amor. There was another article where the headline declared that a black woman’s net worth is $5.(What’s the net worth of a black man?) I can go on. Please stop this destructive crap!!

  15. Smith

    July 17, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Damned, I’m so happy to see a Black woman tell the truth! I’ve got five sisters who all married and/or repeatedly involved themselves with weak men that they knew they could control. The sons of those who have a son are very weak and passive as well. They blame their unhappy lives on Black men in general, yet stay with these men who they’ve never been satisfied with. They refuse to look in the mirror to see the true problem — themselves! They exemplify what is wrong with Black relationships, and they are disgusting.

  16. ME

    July 17, 2012 at 10:24 am

    You are correct but only to a certain extent…Since the beginning there has been infidelity in relationships and based on how people express themselves and react to the problems it is what you can call drama. You see for the statement you made Camille should have let Bill Cosby go, Hillary vs Bill, and Jacquline vs Jesse.. These women are highly respected but due to imperfections mistakes were made not an excuse but life.

    For example back in time black women had only love to get them thru the hardships of life; reflect on how they prayed, cried, spiritual Negro Songs were created for a reason.

    Making a statment that if you choose a man that is not any good than yes he will not be a good father…Remember to always look at who you are, where you came from, and then ask yourself is this the person I want to grow with. The heart is not picky on who it chooses but in the end you make the choice.

    I also watched For Colored girls and yes I didn’t understand why these women made a choice to accept the treatment they were recieving, but in the movie the young lady played by Tandi had the right idea wrong concept don’t become a person to do wrong in order to achieve satisfaction in your mind but rise above the stereotype. Show good and you will receive favor..Encourage, love, respect,find your values, morals, you see relationships are empty without meaning if you can not tell the difference between love and its imposter. You will know real love.
    People will hurt people in this life that is life but it is up to you to accept it or not.

  17. John Dixon

    July 17, 2012 at 10:38 am

    Too much red tape and hang ups. High expectations that are unrealistic.

    Be more acceptable of common human traits and just live you life.

    Stop trying to pattern your life after white america in what you think is good love! its bullshit. Life is way to short for that fantasy and you will be waiting your whole life for mr. right.

  18. Rasheed7

    July 17, 2012 at 11:01 am

    I like this woman…. She understands herself. Her advice to black women is valuable. Its so rare to see somebody who isnt dazzled by the fantasy world that alot of black folks live in..

    *applause*

  19. Seychan lewis

    July 17, 2012 at 11:44 am

    If everything she says is so untrue, then why such a large number of single black mothers as compared to other races…and the ‘black man ain’t shit’ excuse is old and false, you can’t be mad at a bum for being a bum so what is it about the bums that turn them on? Hold up I know it…he ain’t got a job, no education, he already got kids with other woman but he got style, he’s suave and got Swag that’s all that matters to most of the 70% right? Besides that a good number of sisters grew up with ‘big momma’ runnin everything and is not willing to submit to a husband so they find a weak man who let’s her run the house and his business, it’s cool at first but after a while she loses respect for a man with no balls..then you got the kind that isn’t interested in nothing but penitentiary men and they break their backs for them but a brother who is at least half way decent they shun

    • Onthefence

      July 20, 2012 at 9:07 pm

      U left out the man that presents himself as decent then over time, after the fact shows his true colors. Now I have a question for you. Where was Big Mammas husband? why was she running the show all by herself? Keep in mind single women alse raise boys who become men. Can she really teach him how to be a man? Im just sayin dont act like black women one day just told all the black men to leave so we could raise the kids by ourselves. I get tired of black men acting as if black men hold no responsibility in this. Yet, all you do is sit back, watch black women “fail” at raising the kids. and talk shit about us. Get over yourselves.

  20. Mario

    July 17, 2012 at 12:00 pm

    Bless you my sister. The women that are angry and disgusted by this video are the women that refuse to accept responsibility for their choices. The fact of the matter is indeed black women are not the only women that go through bad relationships. However, they are a group of women that are the most vocal and demonstrative concerning the subject matter. The fact of the matter is this women has not told one lie. She has not falsely accused anyone of anything. All she did was challenge women, in this case her sisters to stop sitting around celebrating and memorializing your bad ass relationship choices. You wanted that thug. You wanted him to beat it up! You knew he was married. You knew he was a dog when you met him because in most cases according to your continued testimony that’s all you run into. If this is the case you should recognized a dog from afar off. So here we have it…and I can say this because I counsel these women everyday; black women feel they they are the “dog whisperer”. Some black women like dogs and the challenge of trying to tame him. Thus, they are becoming the men they hate and desire at the same time. Some women don’t want to take responsibility for the fact that you still believe that your sex can tame a man. And when will black women finally admit that what you are really mad about is that you failed to tame him! Ladies tell the truth. Sex ain’t never tamed nobody. Him coming back to get your sex ain’t taming him. I have to wonder what spirit are you operating in that makes you want to tame and control another person anyway? I salute this black women. I pray she will be grace to stand and keep telling the TRUTH! Hopefully the angry black women will one day be able to hear, receive and embrace the choices you made concerning your life.

  21. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    The reasons for black single motherhood are extremely complex with roots tracing back to slavery. It’s a mistake to over simplify them.

    • Black Man

      July 17, 2012 at 5:13 pm

      This video is the truth! Unfortunately, a lot of the women this is directed toward have the “it’s not my fault” mentality. There’s always some excuse as to why they keep ending up in the same trifling situation over and over and over. Stop blaming everybody else and start being responsible for the men you choose date and more importantly have unprotected sex with.

    • Black Man

      July 17, 2012 at 5:21 pm

      Wrong! This is akin to a black man sitting around doing nothing with his life talking about “the white man holding me back”.

      Stop making excuses. There are all sorts of birth control available, there are also contraceptives women can take advantage of with 99% effectiveness rates, it really is THAT simple to stop this single motherhood epidemic or at the very least make a serious decline in the single mother statistics.

      Nobody is forcing these women to get pregnant by the no good dogs they are so attracted to. I do not pity these women nor make excuses for them and neither should anyone else.

      The truth is the young lady in the video is absolutely right. There are scores of black women who seemingly love to sit around and console each about their piss poor judgement in men. They love to make excuses, they love to talk about how “he ain’t ish” AFTER the fact when 9 outta 10 they knew he wasn’t from jump. They love to talk about how a good black man is so hard to find, or talk about how they need to not limit themselves to only black men. Understand this, if you can’t find a good black man, chances are you won’t find a good man of ANY race. You have to address the root of the problem first, use better judgement and stop using excuses.

  22. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 12:58 pm

    Mario you speak from a place of ignorance. I am disgusted by this and I am personally happy with my choices and realize that no situation will be perfect. Some of you low IQ folks just love to throw out genetalizations based upon your own limited life experiences. Limited knowledge and breadth of experience = ignorance.

  23. JEE

    July 17, 2012 at 1:03 pm

    The main issue with the black community is wide spread ignorance in so many areas. We cannot move forward because we’re too often stuck on stupid with a limited knowledge base. Plus, we carelessly regurgitate and frequently live out age old negative stereotypes that have haunted us since we were forcibly brought to this country.

  24. Lorri Holliday

    July 17, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Wow! I can only speak for myself. I have two beautiful sons that I had to raise. I have no idea who this ladies is in the video, but, please give us a break as black women. Sometimes it’s easier said than done. I do respect what you’re saying. But, I have my on opinion. Speaking for myself and from experiences of other beautiful Black women. I think that I’m a quality woman. I’ve been trained by a beautiful Woman of God. Yes! we as women want a quality man in our lives to love us. Yes, we want a father for our children. We want a husband as well. The whole entire package. Someone to honor and respect us. Anything that comes under the umbrella of a beautiful Relationship/Marriage. It’s just not that easy. You can invest everything into yourself and life. You can be a woman and God, pray for the desires of your heart, save your body, get an quality education, cook, clean, etc. and not give up the cookie to fast. All the quality things that was said to do to get that good man. Once those things are done and you get him, you’ll have him until he decides that he’s done and ready for something new. Baby, it’s not just the woman, it’s the man also. You have to remember. He’s the one treating her like crap int the movie, Talking to her like crap. What type of man would do that to a woman. He acts like a gentleman to get the things he want and need. Once he gets all of them. He’s conquered you. Time to go and conquer something new. He wants you to sit and wait until he’s done. If you want him, you’ll wait. If you want to keep you family and marriage, you’ll wait. You can demand respect. Will you get it? Maybe so, maybe NO!!! To me, Men are selfish. If you’ve found a great man/husband and things are going well for you, good for you. I pray that it continue to stay that way. Hopefully one day you will not catch him cheating. Men tell me that on a daily. That’s what we do, We’re cheaters. All of us. We have to have it. So, we as women, have to deal with it or be alone and raise our families and give our children what we can in hopes that they we be successful an a asset to life. Be bless!

    • Black Man

      July 17, 2012 at 5:31 pm

      My sister, this is exactly the type of thinking that is bringing our community down when it comes to relationships. I understand you may have had a bad experience, who hasn’t? However, you can’t let that sway your thinking into every man you come across will do the same to you. A man will only treat you how you ALLOW him to treat you. Once you understand, I mean truly understand that you deserve better and also give better, you will attract better. It’s not a miracle and it’s not some sort of luck.

      We all are accountable for the choices we make. Reality is men don’t often go from prince charming to frog with no warning signs as some of these women would have everyone believe. If you pay enough attention, a person will show you exactly who they are, but you have to not be blinded by other things.

    • Blufly

      July 18, 2012 at 9:17 am

      Thank you Lorri for your comments and being realistic about the state of things in our culture. You’re 100% correct. The message we are told on how to find an ideal man is no different from what other ethnicities tell their daughters, but something happens in the Black culture where the end product is never the case of what we have been told. This article focuses on single Black mothers. There are those of us that are single Black women with no children, intelligent minds, and solid careers. Yet, we are subjected still to the same quality, or lack thereof, of Black men. That is not a case of whining that is just a case of stating the reality of things. In truth, I even feel for married Black women because most are suffering the same state of single Black women only they have to do it with a fake smile pasted on their face. My grandmother was married for well over 40 years to my grandfather but I NEVER saw him say a kind word to her or show any true affection she deserved. Her video simply seems to let Black men off the hook on the subject of accountability in doing his part to make sure a relationship is loving and fulfilling. I believe Black women have never had a problem in accepting accountability in making family work, with or without the man; however, it would be nice and about time if men grow up and join the party.

  25. John TROLLvolta

    July 17, 2012 at 5:42 pm

    *Watches video
    *Applauds this beautiful black woman as a tear of joy rolls down my cheek
    *Read comments
    *Realizes the same black women she’s talking about will cuss her out, put on their skimpiest outfit to go clubbin and drinkin, while listenin to Mr.Wrong in the car and continue to believe it’s not their fault

    Oh what a world

  26. Elizabeth

    July 17, 2012 at 6:44 pm

    If you don’t want a baby, use birth control. I am tired of African-American women complaining about being single moms. I am sure it is no pity for the children growing up in poverty. It is your body, what is YOUR problem. Single men want SEX not a baby. stop trying to get a check at a child’s expense.

  27. Candace Williams

    July 17, 2012 at 7:16 pm

    Fact is that the pool of black men about something is so small, all that black women have to choose from is b.s. ni**as. Some women are single parents because of divorce or being widowed too, so don’t be trying to make it sound like everybody is dropping babies and ain’t never been married to a man that started off being there for his children.

    This chick is right about the having babies part. Don’t do it. If you know a dude is sorry, don’t do it. If you know a dude is married, don’t do it.

    • V

      July 17, 2012 at 7:44 pm

      Stop with the excuses. Unfortunately is not exactly easy for a black man who doesn’t sell dope, is fresh out of prison and not an aspiring rapper to find a black woman worth something either. Let’s be real here, the amount of single mothers as a result of being sexually irresponsible is a whole lot higher than the amount of women who are single mother due to divorce. That’s the problem, they’re becoming baby mommas instead of saying “I do” to the right man and becoming wives and mothers.

      The problem is nobody wants to take responsibility for upholding their own end of things. So many black women complaining about the quality of black men, what do YOU bring to the table to warrant such comments?

    • Joe

      July 17, 2012 at 9:13 pm

      Such BS. There are plenty of solid brothas out there.

      • Onthefence

        July 20, 2012 at 8:52 pm

        U get dirty sifting thru the trash to get to the treasure… Just being real. Theres no class u have to take on dating some of us start out doing it right, but most of us dont. Some consequenses are lifelong.Either way; whatever happens in your life you need to handle it. Period.

  28. NotBrainwashed

    July 18, 2012 at 4:15 am

    This woman is actually talking about herself. She’s been there and done it. I don’t think that 70% of black females are single. In order to know that, you’d have to survey 100% of black females, and I’m not talking about a small sample. There’s nothing new about bad relationships because they’ve been around for centuries. IT IS WHAT IT IS. IT’S ALL BULLSHIT!

  29. Isaidsobra

    July 18, 2012 at 6:36 am

    I don’t know about all women. But I do know about the one I married. She had two kids when we met. I raised her two kids. We have two kids together and I’m raising my kids. I invented My money into a business for her and ask for nothing in return. And I get seems like nothing but attitude, nasty attitude from her daily. I put her first in my life but almost everything comes before me in her life. I hope that’s it’s just me that has to live like this and no one else. I hope that it gets better because if not after my two kids leave high school I’m gone and it’ll be my fault. Sorry I just had to vent.

  30. Isaidsobra

    July 18, 2012 at 6:38 am

    Invested and not invented.

    • Onthefence

      July 20, 2012 at 8:55 pm

      See women arent the only ones getting hoodwinked and bamboozled. Hope it works itself out.

  31. Mario

    July 19, 2012 at 9:57 am

    @ Jee. You are speaking from a place of sheer and utter denial and anger. What’s ignorant is your ability to allow your anger toward anyone who disagrees with you to shape your commentary. Truly there are a myriad of variables that contribute to the cause of the black women’s plight. However, denying that she must own her choices does not solve her problem. It’s people like you that want to shut Bill Cosby down for literally dealing with the truth behind our issues as a race. I am nit dismissing any of our historical oppression by any means, but the beauty of God in us is His ability to cause us to triumph over our opposition through RIGHT CHOICES. Jee you are actually an enabler. Sit down. Deal with your anger so that you can hear truth.

  32. Onthefence

    July 20, 2012 at 9:11 pm

    ok, Im just looking at the video and it starts out with very broad generalizations. She is talking to a small percentage of black women. The black women I know dont do the shit she is talking about but she is putting it out there like its the majority.

  33. Stupid

    July 21, 2012 at 5:41 am

    YEP ITS NEVER EVER EVER THE BLACK MANS FAULT ALL YOU BLACK FEMALES ARE EVIL CREATURES WHO SEALED YOUR OWN TERRIBLE FATE.

  34. Jackie

    July 23, 2012 at 4:57 pm

    Because women of color refuse to date out of their race, they really limit themselves and their possibilities. their choices are so limited until they end up with the same old, same old. That’s unfortunate, but that’s the real deal.

  35. LARRY

    July 24, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    The author is not attacking black motherhood, but she is saying, If you make bad choices you have to live with. Why do you sleep with guys who sell drugs? If you a quality relationship, then why not date a quality man, it you settle for a low class man that is what you get. Elevate you self esteem and demand a better relationship and don’t settle for less. This approach is not meant to attack you the black woman, but rather implore you to make a better choice if you want better results in your relationships. If you want the best the choose the best. If you do not stand for something the you will fall for anything that is the bottom. And to direct you anger at others is fruitless. But it you change yourself then you will get what you want. Don’t get upset the people you deal with won’t change, but rather yourself.

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